Lovesick
by rcruz1234
Summary: AU story that follows Callie's attempt to reconnect with Erica after their breakup.
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 1)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:** This is another AU story that came pouring out of me in the last few days when I should have been working on so many other things. It's AU in that Erica never left. (It's not mentioned or relevant to this story, but the whole Erica finding out about Stephens stealing her patient's heart did not happen. I can't imagine a scenario where Erica Hahn would have stayed on at Seattle Grace once she found out about the heart stealing, so any story of mine that has her still at Seattle Grace assumes Erica does not know about that or that it didn't happen in that way.) The story is written entirely (or almost entirely) from Callie's perspective. Callie is not my favorite Grey's character, but she is certainly one of the more perplexing and complex characters. Lots of angst for Callie in this. Let me know what you think. This tale is turning out longer than I had intended, but should be not be much more than 7 chapters or something like that.

Chapter 1

Callie was at the nurse's station making a few notations for nurses and interns on her latest patient. She was on automatic with only half her mind processing the meds she was prescribing, taking into account drug interactions, timetables and other factors.

The other half of her mind was focused on herself. She felt pretty today. Her hair was nice and bouncy, her make-up had gone on just right, scrubs were comfy and clean, and her lab coat was crisp and white. Arizona Robbins had kissed her last night. Dr. Robbins a hot and sexy peds surgeon had kissed her and gushed and told her she would get over being upset. She had been close to the bottom of the barrel last night. She had been teetering on unsteady feet, staring at glass after glass of scotch, waiting to fall over and scrape the very bottom of the proverbial barrel. She had known that and in a last ditch effort to save herself she had sought refuge in the bathroom. She could not take Little Grey's insensitive giddiness over Mark. She could not take someone's else's happiness right then, but Arizona Robbins had come in and seen the mess she was and told her people liked her, people liked her a lot. The kiss that followed was sweet and surprising and it stirred something in Callie. It was as if that kiss was much needed air and the Callie that was drowning had been resuscitated.

The Callie that knew she was hot and a bad-ass and worth loving surfaced and gulped air in big heavy gasps. So this morning she felt pretty and fresh and hot. Arizona Robbins was right. She would get over being upset. She didn't know what that would look like yet, but she was bad-ass cage-fighter Callie and she would get her groove back.

Charts done, she turned her mind's workings on the other thing that had been occupying her thoughts for most of the day. She was about to ask out a woman. It was a big step, her big step in getting over being upset, in moving on, getting over being dumped by Erica. She felt good; it felt good to be moving on. She was feeling so good and so confident that she was surprised to feel that sinking sensation return as she left the surgical floor. She thought the peds surgeon had chased that away, but it came back full force as soon as she saw her. She felt it emerge in her like a snake uncoiling and getting ready to strike. Callie was walking away from the surgical floor and across the bridge on her way to peds. Erica was walking in the other direction and all the progress Callie thought she had made was swept away in a moment. She let out an uneven breath and felt her stomach lurch, the snake taking a bite out of her. She stopped in the middle of the bridge wondering if Erica would stop and look at her, acknowledge that Callie was even alive, but Erica's head remained bent, her eyes on the paper she was reading. Erica passed by her like she would a stranger on the street.

Callie turned her head as Erica passed and watched her make her way to the main surgical floor. Erica's steps never faltered, not a twitch or even an unsteady sway could be detected in her demeanor. Callie turned away and focused on what she had been about to do. She could do nothing about Erica. Erica had left her, had decided she didn't want to ride out Callie's gay panic with her, thought it best they just stay away from each other. Callie had made mistakes, plenty of them, but she had apologized for each and every one and she felt she had paid for them. Sleeping with Mark in some misguided attempt to figure out what was going with her had been wrong. She had already acknowledged that to Erica. She had begged and pleaded and when it was clear she was not going to be forgiven, she had lived in self-imposed exile talking to no one for weeks except Mark and Christina once Christina had put two and two together. Callie had been punishing herself and wallowing in self-pity for too long. Erica was not coming back to her; they would not be getting back together.

She had been trying to accept that and after Arizona Robbins kissed her in that bathroom, she thought maybe she could. She looked ahead of her, put one step in front of the other and soon she was across the bridge. She had to move on, she had to. So she forced herself to keep walking to peds, queued up the kiss from last night in her head as encouragement and tried hanging on to that. She was pretty. She was hot. She was Callie Torres.

By the time she made it to peds and spotted Dr. Robbins, the nervousness she felt about what she was about to embark on settled in her stomach and mixed with the already percolating queasiness she felt about what she was leaving behind. The combination was not good. She thought she was going to be sick. And so the image she had of herself casually sauntering up to Arizona and just asking her out never came to fruition. Instead Arizona had seen her blanched face turning various shades of green and helped her into a seat. Arizona had given her club soda to settle her stomach and made her lie down.

And as Callie lay there feeling foolish and silly, but enjoying the pampering, she found her strength again and despite the nausea, she still felt pretty and so she asked and after some awkwardly cute hesitations, Arizona said yes.

* * *

They had dinner at a nice Persian restaurant and Arizona was pretty and bubbly and nice and gushing just like she had in the bathroom. She was sweet and polite and was interested in Callie. She listened so intently it scared Callie, made her a little hesitant as if she was sitting across from her high school English teacher who had liked scrutinizing every word her students uttered. Suddenly Callie was hyper cognizant of how many times she said 'yeah' or 'gonna' or how liberally she just smashed words together.

But it was still nice. Arizona had great kid stories and did goofy things like shred a napkin into a thousand pieces because she was nervous. They took a walk in a nearby park and continued the easy chatter between them. Callie was comfortable. She was really comfortable with her. She didn't flinch when Arizona threaded her arm through hers. She returned every smile. She hesitated slightly when Arizona intertwined their hands as they approached Callie's car, but then let the action go feeling no threat or anything from it.

_Or anything?_

She didn't feel anything.

She could have been holding her sister's hand.

When Arizona leaned in to kiss her at the end of the night, Callie let her, but she still didn't feel anything. When Arizona made a move to deepen the kiss, Callie pulled back. Arizona just smiled. She put her small arms around Callie and hugged her, repeating the words she had spoken at the onset of everything in that dirty dingy bathroom.

"You will get over it and when you do, they'll be people lining up."

Callie drove her home and then made her own way back to the apartment she shared with Christina. She got out of her dress, put an old t-shirt on and lay on her side of the bed fingering the pillow on the other side in silent contemplation until weary eyes closed.

* * *

The next day was miraculous. Erica Hahn said hi to her. She had been standing at the nurse's station once again making notes for interns and nurses when a body bumped into hers. It was light, a hand absently clicking a pen bumping into Callie's side while the body it was attached to was distracted by the chart held in the other hand. The light touch caused Callie to look up and straight into astonished blue eyes. She was surprised when Erica held her gaze and spoke.

"Hi"

"Hey" she responded readily as she continued staring into those brilliantly shaded blue eyes, saw them go a little misty and then turn away.

She hung on to that interaction for the rest of the day.

The following day was even more miraculous. Erica had said 'Hello' and this time there had been no accidental bump. Callie had been sipping coffee in the lounge when Erica walked in for a cup. She had walked in and stopped upon seeing Callie, her hand remaining on the door as if still unsure if she wanted to enter. Callie had looked up, had been so happy to see her that she couldn't suppress the smile that came naturally to her face. She said "Hey" remembering they had been able to do that the day before.

"Hello" said Erica.

She seemed to hesitate in the doorway some more, before letting out a sigh and entering the room. She made coffee hurriedly, but not fast enough that she was out before Mark walked in the room loud and boisterous and he distracted Callie. In the seconds it took for Callie to turn his way and acknowledge him, Erica had disappeared from the lounge.

But the days got better. The next day she actually got an "Are you okay?"

Mr. I-Punch-People-In-My-Sleep had hit her hard on the nose as she was trying to calm him and she had ended up on the floor of the Pit bleeding. Mark had taken care of her and listened to her whine about how everything bad in the world was happening to her. How her girlfriend had left her after she had figured everything out and how she didn't seem to be moving past the upset. He had kindly put her under anesthetic and when she woke, it was Erica at her bedside that she saw. At first she had thought it was the drugs bringing her this vision, but when the vision spoke it was Erica's voice.

"Are you okay?" she had asked and Callie had seen the concern in her eyes and heard it in her voice and it was better than the drugs Mark had given her.

She had nodded and tried to smile, but it hurt and then she felt Erica's hand squeeze hers. She couldn't keep her eyes open though and by the time she woke again hours later, it was Bailey giving her a pep talk and Erica was gone.

The next day she got another question which led to a short conversation.

"How are you feeling?"

Callie was eating a salad at a small table in the cafeteria. She stood up at the sound of the voice.

"Good," she said trying to hurriedly swallow.

"Any pain?" asked Erica holding her container of salad.

"A little, but mostly feeling okay. Do you wanna sit?" asked Callie tentatively.

"No, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Take care," she said and walked out of the cafeteria.

Callie watched her walk out and when Erica exited, her gazed remained fixed on the doors where she had exited for a whole minute.

"If you're able to have a conversation with her, it means you're starting to move on."

"What?" asked Callie turning towards the person who was suddenly standing next to her. "Arizona!" she exclaimed.

"Hello Calliope. I heard about the little incident. Bummer. It looks good though. Dr. Sloan did a good job fixing you up."

"Yeah, thanks. Do you wanna sit down?"

Arizona smiled. "I would love to."

The lunch was just like their dinner, except that Callie was somewhat distracted thinking back to the last few days and her and Erica's interactions and how Callie was not getting over the upset and how maybe she didn't want to. She heard bits and pieces of Arizona's peds stories, saw her do that thing with the napkin again and smiled. It was really cute.

* * *

Her interactions with Erica continued to progress until they were actually conversational with each other. It was never long, never detailed, never personal, but it was something and Callie hung on the something with everything she had. It was an uphill climb, but she was making progress. However climbing mountains is fraught with unseen dangers and setbacks. She hadn't expected the avalanche that hit her, that almost took her feet out from under her and sent her back to the bottom of the mountain in a rush of snow and muck and ice cold pain.

It happened at Joe's and everyone was there. Everyone had some sorrows they wanted to drown in that night. The trauma had been brutal. They had done their jobs that day, but it was one of those days when you're trying to get up a hill covered in sleek ice. Patient after patient was wheeled in and patient after patient died. It was heartbreaking and awful and reminded you that there were things that were not fixable. Callie was too familiar with things that were unfixable, but lately she had begun to believe that some things only seemed unfixable at first glance. If you took the time, some of those unfixables could be fixed. Today had messed with that belief and the scotch only reminded her of all the things in her life that were not yet fixed. Like Erica. She felt herself breaking again and so had gone to the bathroom once more to seek refuge.

And just like last time, Arizona had followed and this time she didn't offer any words of wisdom or solace. She had seen the tears in Callie's eyes and engulfed her in a hug and whispered words of comfort. Callie was grateful. Despite the fact that Arizona wasn't the right shape, she wasn't tall enough, her arms weren't long enough or strong enough, she let Arizona hold her because it felt good to be held.

"Thank you," she said and pulled back wiping tears with crumpled pieces of toilet paper.

She was so mired in the drama in her head, thinking back to the hug and who she had wanted hugging her at that moment, that she missed the look in Arizona's eyes. She didn't see it and so she had no warning that lips were coming her way until they were almost on top of her. She put her hands on Arizona's chest and pushed her back.

"Don't do that," she said softly and heard the door to the bathroom swing.

She and Arizona both looked in the direction of the door but the person was already gone. Callie turned her attention back to Arizona.

"I don't want to mislead you. I'm not ready for this. I thought I was, but I'm not so you can't kiss me like that. We can be friends if you want, but right now I'm a mess and I don't know what I want, so I can't do the kissing."

Arizona sighed. "Okay," she said and smiled. "I'll be here Calliope as your friend and if you want more, I'll be here when you're ready for that too."

"Thank you," said Callie beyond relieved.

When she walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later and sat at her usual place at the bar, Mark was there with Lexie attached to him like a limpet.

"I thought you and Hahn were being civil to each other?"

"We are," she said as she signaled Joe for a beer. It was time to put a hold on the scotch. Mixing drinks was no good either, but she needed to be drinking something.

"I thought you might have had words. She flew out of that bathroom like a bat outta hell."

The sentence penetrated Callie's brain slowly as it created the movie reel that would play in her head for the next few nights: Erica walking into the bathroom to see another woman kissing her. She put her head down and bile rose up in her. She turned green again and raced to the bathroom. She had barely made it.

* * *

She thought she would need to start from scratch after the incident at Joe's. She thought she would need to shake the snow out of her boots and start the uphill climb at the bottom. But after two days of not seeing her at all, when she finally laid eyes on Erica and boldly said "Hi," Erica said it back.

It was softer, Erica's tone, and for long moments nothing else was forthcoming. Callie had approached the small table where Erica was eating her lunch, charts spread all around her. When Erica had responded with her own "Hi," Callie had taken it as a good sign and sat waiting.

"How's the nose?" asked Erica finally looking up at her.

Callie smiled and told her it was as good as new.

"So…" said Erica as she started gathering her things.

"So," responded Callie.

"You're seeing someone."

"No, I'm not. Arizona is a new friend who got a little carried away."

Erica laughed bitterly. "Do you get involved with all your friends?"

Callie closed her eyes. They hadn't done this. They hadn't done the angry, bitter part when they had broken up, but a part of her felt that she deserved this anger, so she sat intent on letting Erica have her say.

Erica got up. "I'm sorry Callie. That was unfair. I just want you to be happy."

She didn't wait for Callie to respond. She finished gathering her things and left the table.

Callie wanted to be sick again.

* * *

Coming in Chapter 2 – Callie meets some folks that remind her of a certain cardio surgeon.


	2. Chapter 2

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 2)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:** Let the building of the alternate universe begin. We were never given a lot of background for Erica, hence the liberties I take with her personal life.

Chapter 2

It was the end of her shift and she hadn't seen Erica since their interaction in the cafeteria. She was delivering her last chart to the nurse's station when she saw them; two teenagers lurking around the surgical floor looking very out of place. They were both tall with blonde hair. The girl had her hair up in a loose pony tail. She wore baggy jeans and a rustic brown athletic jacket. She was looking up at the surgical board. The boy was long and lanky with hair almost to his shoulders. Callie couldn't tell if this was a fashion statement or if he needed a haircut. He wore an orange hoodie with Triton Park etched into the front in white letters. He was looking around the busy corridors. His eyes connected with hers and he smiled as he started walking her way.

"I'm wondering if you could help me find someone."

Callie gave him her full attention. "I'm Dr. Torres. Are you looking for a doctor?"

"Yeah, hi, my name's Eric Hahn."

She was taken back and was sure her face was expressing some form of shock.

"What did you just say your name was?"

He laughed. "Eric Hahn. You must know my aunt. I'm Eric James Hahn. Dr. Erica Hahn is my aunt."

"Dr. Hahn is your aunt?" asked Callie in complete and utter disbelief.

But even as her face was expressing shock, she could see it: the blonde hair that could go dirty blonde in the right light, the height, the build, the pale long face, those startling blue eyes.

He had turned away from her, shouting something at the girl who walked over and this one looked more like Erica than the young man, right down to the hard look and guarded face. She came to stand next to the boy, her arms crossed.

"What's up?" She directed her question to Eric, but managed to examine Callie from head to toe in a few seconds.

Callie almost laughed. The girl was trying really hard to duplicate Erica's demeanor, but she had none of Erica's presence yet and so it came off cute more than hard and nasty.

"She knows Aunt Erica," Eric explained with such an open face that it was hard to imagine that these two were related, even when she could see they shared many of the same physical attributes.

"Do you know where she is?" asked the girl apparently not wanting to waste time on introductions or pleasantries.

"This bucket of sunshine is my sister Jess, Jessica Taylor Hahn, get it? I'm James and she's Taylor," he said smiling.

"James Taylor like the folk singer?" asked Callie not missing the eye role Jess was giving Eric.

"That's it!" said Eric. "Our mother loves him, but hardly anybody gets the connection."

"Wow, that's devotion," laughed Callie. Eric laughed with her, but Jess was scowling.

"It's insane. Do you know where we can find our aunt or not?" asked Jess impatiently.

Callie stopped chuckling. "I don't know where she is right now, but I would love to help you find her. I didn't even know she had a nephew and niece. Does she know you're coming?"

"She thinks we're at her place. We're supposed to be staying there this weekend, but our teacher refused to leave us there alone, so we have to find her so our teacher can turn us over to a responsible adult," explained Eric.

"We're here for a basketball conference," supplied Jess. "Well that's why I'm here. He's just a band geek."

"Hey at least I'm not a dumb jock." answered Eric not even looking at her. It was a knee jerk reaction, Callie surmised. She smiled.

"Well I can have her paged. I don't think she's in surgery unless she's got a trauma and as far as I know none came in today, so she's probably in her office."

Callie saw Bailey with a clipboard in her hand and called out to her. "Bailey, have you seen Dr. Hahn?"

"She was right behind me," answered Bailey turning around as if she had lost something.

Suddenly Erica was there strolling down the hall her head buried in the chart she was reading. She was frowning and very deliberately not looking up, assuming perhaps that people would just get out of her way as she walked, which most people did.

Callie was about to call out to her when the two kids standing next to her turned and in harmony began softly singing.

_Take it easy on me_

_It should be easy to see_

_I'm getting lost in the crowd_

_Hear me crying out loud_

_Just want you to know_

_I know that you have to go_

_It's all up to you, but whatever you do_

_Take it easy on me*_

They weren't singing at the top of their lungs and they harmonized easily. Callie was surprised at how not bad it sounded. She watched Erica's head jerk up, saw the easy smile that spread across her face, followed by a tiny flush that could have gone undetected, but Callie was intimately familiar with a flushed Erica and did not miss it. It reminded Callie of how close they had been and she could do nothing as the memories flooded her body causing her skin to flush and heat to course through her, heat that she recognized.

She pushed the memories to the side and watched the two tiny adults burst in laughter as they finished before crossing the short distance to Erica. Jess launched herself at Erica first with a childish abandon Callie would have never guessed she still possessed. She hung on to Erica for a few seconds and Callie heard a laugh emanate from her. Eric followed and was not outdone by his sister, managing to lift Erica off the ground. Finally they separated and the smile that Erica gave them was a sight Callie thought no one at the hospital had ever seen from her. She had seen that smile. It was part of Private Erica, a part of Erica Callie used to have access to.

"Calliope," she heard her name being called and resented it.

She turned ready to dismiss whoever it was. It was Arizona, sweet kind and caring Arizona.

"Hey," said Callie eyes shifting uncomfortably to Erica and her niece and nephew, not wanting them to walk away.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight?" asked Arizona with those twinkling eyes, hands dug deep in the pockets of her lab jacket, her head tilted enticingly.

"I can't," said Callie wanting to get back to Erica and this family she seemed to have. Callie wanted to know more about that, wanted to be a part of that. "Maybe tomorrow," she offered meekly at the slightly crestfallen look Arizona was sending her way.

She stepped away with a light touch on Arizona's arm and edged closer to the clan talking easily just a few feet from her. She stood on the outskirts knowing she had no place in their circle, but just wanting to be near it. Eric noticed her first.

"Hey," he said pulling her directly into the circle they had created. "Dr. Torres was offering to help us look for you. You should have seen the look on her face when I introduced myself. I love doing that. It freaks people out, but she seemed to recover pretty well, faster than most."

Callie was positioned between Jess and Eric, but she was focusing on the woman standing directly across from her. "I didn't mind helping. I'm a little sorry you came along so quickly. I was looking forward to getting some family stories about you."

"Oh we can tell you stories," laughed Eric, but his aunt gave him a look that made him reconsider the offer.

"But you won't," said Erica. She turned to Callie and the easy smile faltered just a little. "Thank you for offering to help them," she said and then addressed her nephew and niece again.

"So why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be at the house? Did you forget where the key was?"

"Stupid band-geek teacher wouldn't let us stay alone. She said she needed to drop us off with a relative and not an empty house, so we had her take us here. She's in the main lobby downstairs. We kind of told her we knew where to look for you," said Jess.

Erica frowned. "I won't be able to leave here for at least another two hours."

"I have my license…I could drive us back to your place," said Jess hopefully.

"I don't think so," said Erica sharply although she reached out to give Jess a friendly squeeze. "Unfamiliar city, very expensive car and new driver are not a good combination. I should go talk to your teacher."

"Oh she's fine dropping us off here as long as you go downstairs and tell her that yes you will be responsible for us. I guess we can hang out here for the next two hours," said Eric.

He looked at Callie who was standing there enjoying being this close to Erica even if it was awkward standing there as they discussed things that were of no concern to her.

"Dr. Torres, I don't suppose you can hang out with us?"

"Actually…I can. I can drive them to your place Erica. I'm off and I know where you keep the key. That way they don't have to hang out in a boring hospital."

She glanced quickly at Jess and Eric. Eric was beaming. Jess gave her brother a surprised look, but did not object. Finally Callie's gaze settled on Erica who seemed to be contemplating the suggestion.

"Callie…You don't have to…"

"I know. I want to. I didn't even know you had a niece and nephew. It will be cool to hang out with them. Eric says he has stories," she said playfully wanting to forget that they had broken up, that she had messed up the pretty amazing romantic thing that was happening between them before it had a chance to get its sea legs, and hoping that enough of their friendship remained that this would be okay with Erica.

Erica looked perplexed, but she seemed to be considering it, so Callie pushed a little more.

"I could take them for pizza if they're hungry."

Callie glanced at them and saw their eyes change. The siblings shared a look and she thought she saw Eric mouth 'I'm starved,' to his sister who nodded but kept her focus shifting between Erica and Callie.

"No, you do not have to do that. They can feed themselves when they get to my place." She turned to them. "I can get you guys a cab."

Callie stepped forward. "Erica that's silly. I'm offering cab service for free here."

She almost put a hand on Erica, almost touched Erica's arm before she came back to the reality of everything and stepped back. She glanced nervously at the siblings and did not miss the look they gave each other. It was clear they had their own language and that a lot was being exchanged in those glances.

Erica was standing with her arms crossed considering it. "Okay fine, but no pizza. They can feed themselves."

"Calliope"

Callie turned at the sound annoyed. She felt the circle they had created get stirred and disturbed, the bubble burst, the shape distorted slightly. Eric stepped to the side politely making room for a stranger. Erica stepped away from all of them and Callie saw the siblings follow their aunt's lead and move with her. Arizona walked up to Callie placing a hand on her arm.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said softly her eyes lingering on Erica for a moment. Erica was not looking at her. She was looking at Callie as she stepped back from them even further, once again taking her niece and nephew with her.

"Callie, it's okay, I'll figure out how to…" she started to say.

Callie was not about to let her finish that sentence. She stepped towards Erica and reached out a hand not caring if Erica flinched or recoiled from her, intent on grabbing a hold and preventing the retreat, not wanting to let go of the space they had created. She put her hand on Erica's arm, felt the recoil, but held on anyway, propelling her body's motion forward toward Erica and away from Arizona.

"No, hang on. I'll take them." Callie turned to Arizona. "I'm kind of busy, right now," she said.

"I can see that, I just wanted to confirm tomorrow. Dinner?"

"Maybe, we'll talk tomorrow, okay," said Callie and turned away.

She had no idea Arizona had still been hanging around.

"Callie you have other things to do, you don't need to…"

"No, this is the only thing I have to do. This is the only thing I want to do right now," she said through a smile. Her hand was still resting on Erica's arm.

"Okay," said Erica uncrossing her arms causing Callie's hand to fall away. But the motion brought their hands in contact, brushing for a brief moment. They shared a glance as their hands touched and Callie felt a surge of good and intense feelings coursing through her at the touch and the look on Erica's face.

"Okay, why don't I meet you guys downstairs? I have to change and sign out," said Callie.

"Sounds excellente!" said Eric putting an arm around his aunt.

* * *

Callie changed as fast as she could and took the stairs instead of the elevator. She spotted them instantly. Erica was standing close to a small brunette, a smile on her face. She looked so pretty when she smiled. Eric was sitting in a nearby chair furiously typing into his phone. Jess stood near her aunt alternating between giving her brother frowns and giving Erica and the brunette perplexed looks.

She had almost reached them when she saw it. It was casual, almost innocent, but Callie had given those touches, to this very woman, and so she recognized the flirty behavior. The brunette had touched Erica, in almost the exact same way Callie had upstairs, a causal touch on the arm. The stranger's touch had not lingered, it was fast, but deliberate, an indication, a sign of interest.

Callie flushed and quickened her pace.

"Are we ready?" she asked as she walked up to them.

She stood awkwardly near Eric, wanting to stand right next to Erica, to place her hand in Erica's and claim her, but she had no right – not anymore. Eric smiled easily at her. She flashed what she hoped was a normal smile right back at him, but it must have lacked something. He frowned and got up, looking towards his aunt and teacher. He turned to Jess who raised an eyebrow at him.

"We are very ready," he exclaimed interrupting whatever conversations were being had.

Callie noticed Erica step back from the teacher and couldn't help herself. She moved closer to Erica.

"Everything work out?" she asked.

She was nervous and her stomach was taking the brunt of her nervousness doing flips and turns and swishing about acids in unpleasant ways.

"Yes," said Erica giving her a half smile that was so encouraging that Callie edged even closer.

Callie's palms were sweaty and she was twitchy. She let her hand brush Erica's again like they had upstairs. She couldn't help it. She closed her eyes at the brief touch and felt her stomach calm when Erica didn't move right way. She opened her eyes again to see Jess staring at her.

Eric was engaged with his teacher who had backed up at Callie's approach.

"Okay, your Aunt knows where you need to be and what time so I'll see you guys tomorrow. You have my cell phone number if you need anything."

The teacher picked up her purse and turned to Erica again. "Dr. Hahn, it was nice to finally meet you." She acknowledged Callie with a nod and extended her hand to Erica.

"You too, Ms. Healy" said Erica as the two women shook hands.

Ms. Healy laughed. "Please call me Joyce," she said letting the hand shake linger just long enough to make Callie uncomfortable.

Callie felt her own hand seeking out the one next to hers, brushing it with more purpose now.

Joyce let go of Erica's hand and turned away. "See you all tomorrow," she called over her shoulder.

Erica turned to Callie. "Are you sure you want to do this? If you have plans…"

"I don't," interrupted Callie barely resisting the urge to take the warm hand beside her and give it a good squeeze. She sighed loudly and looked at Jess and Eric who were doing that thing again, where they seemed to be having whole conversations with each other in some sort of code that involved eye rolls, raised eyebrows and smirky smiles.

"Okay, you guys ready?" she asked.

"Yeah, we just need to grab our stuff," said Eric turning his head toward a pile of bags and cases that made Callie's brows arch in surprise.

"That's all yours?"

"I told you," said Jess beginning to make her way to the pile. "He's a band geek."

Callie turned to Erica, not failing to notice the way their hands continued to brush against each other every few seconds.

"Umm…I have a pretty small car."

Erica smiled at her and Callie suppressed the urge to move closer because she hadn't seen that smile directed at her in a long time and it sent a completely familiar surge of energy throughout her body, sending tingles up and down her spine and making her want to burst from the inside out.

"You volunteered," said Erica and then seemed to reconsider her comment. "Callie, I can just get them a cab."

A tiny bubble of anger formed and popped for a second in Callie's next sentence and her words came out more serious and forceful than she would have liked.

"I'm taking them."

She stopped and got herself under control. "But I might leave you all their stuff," she finished with a smile.

Jess came back with a giant bag slung over her shoulder and a basketball under her arm.

"I'm ready."

Erica and Callie looked over at Eric who was struggling with a bag and three cases.

"You're not going to give your brother a hand?" asked Erica.

"No way, he offered to cart around some other girls band-geek crap, so he can deal with that. I'm not taking out my back so he can score."

Callie laughed. "Fair enough," she said.

She turned to Erica searching out those eyes. They held for a moment before Erica looked away and Callie looked down at her shoes.

"So I'll see you later?" she asked hopefully.

"You can just drop them off. You don't have to hang out with them. They're pretty self-sufficient and I hope to be out of here in a couple of hours, but there's no telling if that will happen, so probably not."

Callie looked down. "I don't mind waiting."

"I'm sure you have plans," said Erica looking towards the elevators, clearly not comfortable with this conversation.

Callie sighed. "Okay," she said.

She stood staring at Erica waiting for those eyes to come back around to her. Eric had finally come over awkwardly holding three cases, his gym bag hung over his shoulder. The teens had given them some distance, but did not hide their curiosity at what was transpiring in front of them.

Erica's eyes settled on theirs momentarily before finally meeting Callie's.

"Thank you," she said.

Callie smiled widely. "You're welcome." She gave Erica a squeeze on the arm before turning to her charges.

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

Coming up in Chapter 3 – An interesting night involving pizza and dancing.

*_Take it Easy on Me _– Little River Band. Lyrics used without permission, no copyright infringement intended.


	3. Chapter 3

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 3)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:** Things get a little more interesting as Callie gets to know Erica's family and they get to know her. Hopefully this is an improvement over the last chapter – where nothing much happened.

Chapter 3

Callie learned a lot on the short drive to Erica's. She was looking in her side mirror, getting ready to change lanes as she considered everything she had learned. A few more turns and she would be at Erica's. They had piled the instrument cases and Eric's bag along with Eric into her small back seat. Jess's bag and basketball were in the trunk.

She learned that Jess was a year older than Eric, that their parents had never married and that Dad had died in a freakish motorcycle accident when Eric was a year old. She learned that Eric was both a band geek and a dumb jock for part of the year, his sport of choice being baseball, and that Jess was a part time band geek herself filling in on percussion and strings from time to time. She learned that Eric had a band that consisted of his best friend Kate, his sister and some other band geeks. She learned that their mother was a nurse in a hospital in the town they had grown up in. She learned that Erica and her sister had strange taste in music, which explained the rendition of _Take it Easy on Me_ that Jess and Eric had performed. Apparently Erica loved the Little River Band and had taught them the songs when they were kids. She learned that Erica visited when she could, but that she had cut down on visits in the last few years as her career made increasing demands on her time. She learned that they adored their aunt and she could certainly relate to that sentiment.

She reached Erica's house and parked carefully in the driveway, making sure to leave room for Erica in case she came home earlier than expected. She got out and went to help Eric with the cases, stopping short when Jess objected.

"Let him suffer," said Jess with a smirk as she went for her own stuff in the trunk.

"You're an ass and some of this stuff is Kate's so you should totally be helping out," said Eric as he unfurled his body from her small little back seat and begin emptying it.

It was different, the tone in which he made the statement and the serious looks exchanged between them confirmed that there was something behind the snarky comments being exchanged. Deciding not to get in the middle of whatever was going on there, Callie approached Erica's house and walked around back to the grill where Erica kept the extra key. She fished it out and walked back around to the front of the house finding Eric and Jess standing at the front door not looking at each other.

She walked between them and opened Erica's front door making her way down the short hallway, past the small open kitchen on her left, and to the living room just beyond the kitchen. She stood contemplating it. It was just as she remembered. The place was small, but neat. The expensive art and large flat screen panel television on the walls contrasted with the inexpensive, but comfortable looking furniture in the room. Callie remembered the nights they spent on the couch, getting to know each other. While they had hung out her place at the start of their friendship, having long wine laced conversations until night turned into morning; it was here that they got to know each other physically. It was here that she had learned just how different it was to kiss a woman, to feel a woman's hands on her body. She shivered in remembrance and then felt another presence take over the space and change it.

Teenagers tended to do that, she reminded herself remembering her cousin's children and how they seemed to take over any room they entered. She smiled as she watched Eric dump cases in various places before plopping on the couch. Jess went in search of the guest room happily claiming it as Eric groaned in protest.

"How about that pizza?" offered Callie.

She knew Erica had said no when she made the offer, but Erica wasn't here right now and she knew teenagers rarely said no to pizza.

Eric immediately sat up. "Yes, please. I'm starving!"

Jess was at the refrigerator frowning.

"Jeez, all she has in here are vegetables and brown rice."

She searched her pocket and pulled out some cash. "I think we can swing pizza," she said turning to Eric. "How much did mom give you?"

"Hey, guys there is no way you're paying for this pizza. It's on me," said Callie.

She went to the phone and dialed before they could protest. The pizza order was placed with a little input from Eric and some reluctant requests from Jess and before she knew it they were lounging on the couch playing Uno while they waited for it to arrive. She had wanted to extend her time with them, wanting to hear the Erica stories Eric had promised, hoping she could hang out until Erica arrived. But after the initial outpouring of information in the car, the tables seemed to turn and they were peppering her with questions about Erica's life in Seattle.

It was her favorite topic so she indulged them, telling them about the Tapley surgery from a surgeon's perspective and sharing other Erica-is-a-cardio-god stories. The more she talked the more looks the siblings exchanged. At some point the focus of their questions changed from Erica to her.

"So how long have you known her?"

"How did you meet?"

"Are you friends?"

That one had stumped her. She frowned and sat there looking at her cards, not answering for a long while. They did the sibling exchange thing with their eyes before she finally answered.

"I'm her friend. I mean I want to be her friend and… Well we were really good friends and then things happened and everything changed."

It was vague and she was expecting questions, but she was not expecting the one that came out of Eric's mouth.

"What happened? Was it the gay thing?"

She dropped her cards, which was embarrassing, but good because it distracted her. She was concentrating on picking up the cards and pointedly not looking at the teens waiting intently for her response.

"Um…How do you even know about that?" she asked awkwardly.

"Our mom told us Aunt Erica's gay now," said Eric.

Jess spoke in a serious tone. "We're fine with it, but I'm guessing you aren't."

"No, no. I mean, I am fine with it…considering…I'm in…"

"In what?" asked Jess.

Jess was an enigma. She had been all cold looks and putting up walls until it became clear that Callie knew her Aunt. She wasn't as open as her brother, but around Erica she had seemed to relax and even on the car ride over, she seemed to give Callie the benefit of the doubt. But she had changed again, perhaps sensing that things between Callie and Erica were not great, her face was once again cold and closed.

"No…it's… what happened between us was very personal and private and special. I'm not sure she would appreciate me sharing it with you."

"You're not friends anymore?" asked Eric.

Callie put her cards down, the game completely forgotten.

"I want to be her friend. I want so much….more, but…" she looked at Jess. "I didn't handle things well and because of that, I'm not sure if we're friends. I am her friend, but friendship is a two-way street and I don't think she's decided yet if she still wants me as a friend."

"And the much more?" asked Eric picking up everyone's cards and shuffling the large deck.

_Man this kid was direct._

She considered how she should answer. They had obviously guessed the nature of her and Erica's relationship, so there was no point being vague.

"I thought I had ruined that, maybe I have…I don't know…I want the much more too, but it's… I need to work on being friends first, I think. I hope that she'll still want the much more."

The sound of the doorbell was a welcome interruption. Callie made her way to the door. She handed the pizza box to Eric and then paid the delivery guy. They ate in the living room. She had one slice of pizza and regretted it, feeling slightly nauseous. It was probably nervousness that was causing her stomach to be upset. She was nervous about being here with them, having very personal conversations about Erica. She wanted Erica to come home, but she was nervous about that too, not knowing whether Erica would want her here. She was grateful that they had not reintroduced the topic they had been discussing before the food arrived, but it had changed things a little.

Jess was no longer giving her cold looks, more like interested and perplexed. Eric made good on his promise of Erica stories, but Callie noticed that he exchanged a look with his sister before telling a story as if asking for permission or getting her ok. He was choosing his stories carefully. It was nothing too embarrassing or revealing, just a retelling of birthday surprises or other nice things Erica had managed for them or they for her. They tossed in a few legendary holiday tales as well that had Callie smiling like an idiot on the outside and wishing she had been a part of it on the inside.

She smiled and laughed in all the right places, but inside she was tearing herself apart wanting so bad to go back in time and do everything differently with Erica. She was trying to keep herself in check, but it had been a hard month of not being okay, of feeling this horrible regret that would sometimes take her out of herself completely. She could handle it for the most part if it happened at the hospital by throwing herself into her work, but when it happened outside the hospital, she would usually end up in tears or with an aching stomach. She could not do that here. So she listened, tried to lose herself in the stories and tried to hold back the tears. She tried not thinking about the mess of cheese and tomato she had just consumed and tried to just keep herself together.

She took a deep breath feeling moistness gathering in her eyes as she listened. Eric was still eating pizza happily. She felt someone settle on the couch next to her and looked up to see Jess smiling at her and it was so much like Erica's smile that she almost lost her composure. Jess put a comforting arm on her back and rubbed and Callie found it easier to breathe. Suddenly Eric stopped.

He looked at her intently. "Do you know how to dance?"

She laughed, but it came out sounding choked and she almost started to cough. She felt gentle pats from Jess before she answered.

"What?"

"You know Spanish dancing. I need to learn to dance like salsas and merengues and cumbias and something called bachara or something."

"I think you mean bachata and yes I dance. Why do you need to learn?"

Jess got up and started gathering plates. "It's that girl he likes, she's Mexican or Guatemalan or something."

"Mexican," he clarified glaring at his sister.

He turned to Callie. "Can you teach me?"

"Sure"

He stood and took the remnants of the pizza to the kitchen before returning to move the coffee table into the dining room.

"You mean right now?" she asked.

"Yeah, why not?" He was now rummaging through his bag and pulled out a small device and some cables. He fiddled with the cables and some of Erica's equipment and suddenly there was music - Juan Luis Guerra music to be exact.

Jess returned plopping down on the couch and rolling her eyes. "Everything he does these days is about that girl."

"Yeah, well at least she knows I like her, not like some people."

"Shut up," she said with a sneer.

Callie looked between them, wondering about the subtext of this conversation. There was definitely something going on she wasn't sure they wanted her to know.

"Okay, come here," she said to Eric. "I'm assuming you want to learn how to lead?"

"Well yeah!"

"Do you know the basics of being a strong leader?" she asked grabbing both his hands and positioning them.

"Yeah," he said.

"Okay, I want you to follow for now and just pay attention to the cues I'm giving you. This is no different than other types of dancing in that you have to be assertive. Taking the lead means leading not nudging and hoping your partner follows. The leader controls the dance. There are ways your partner can let you know what she likes or doesn't like, but you control the dance. Dancing is not about equality."

He nodded and prepared himself. He was pretty good even though she could tell he was not used to following. Jess was making snide comments, but Callie pulled her onto the makeshift dance floor as well. She had seen Jess's eyes dancing to the music and figured Jess was open to learning too.

Eric picked up the steps and rhythm right away. She knew he was hearing the beat in the background and the movements just seemed to come naturally to him. It took Jess longer, but once she did, it was clear she was made to lead. The two of them together were a disaster, neither that comfortable relinquishing control to each other, so she took turns with them.

They were immersed in their activity so they didn't see the lights illuminate the kitchen, or hear the keys in the door or hear the door open.

"What the hell?"

They heard that and stopped abruptly. Eric went for the music turning it down. Erica was standing near the kitchen her gaze traveling from the pizza remains, to the coffee table in her dining room and then finally to Callie.

Jess went to her first. "Hey Aunt Erica," she said and placed a kiss on her cheek. Eric duplicated the gesture and ridiculously Callie wondered if she should do the same, except it wouldn't be on the cheek and she wouldn't be calling her Aunt Erica.

They were staring at each other.

"Hey," said Callie. "I just…we got some pizza and they were asking me about dancing. I was just keeping them company."

Erica turned away, her gaze returning to her niece and nephew.

"You paid for the pizza right?"

"Well um…Callie offered and…" began Jess.

"Erica, I bought the pizza. They were perfectly polite and offered to pay. I refused. Sorry. I know you don't want me here, I just…"

"No, Callie that's not…." She looked down. "Thank you for driving them home and feeding them."

"There's some pizza left," offered Eric.

Erica looked at Callie again, before answering Eric. "Thanks. I don't usually eat this stuff, but when in Rome, I guess."

Callie was unsure of what to do. She went for her jacket not wanting to upset Erica more, but Eric stopped her.

"We're not done with the lessons, right?"

Callie looked at Erica who was grabbing a slice of pizza and a plate. "What are you teaching them?" she asked and Callie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Bachatas mostly, since they're the sexiest dance and he wants to impress a girl."

"Jess too, she wants to impress…" he started to say but felt an elbow on his ribs and never got to finish. "Hey!" he breathed with some difficulty glaring at his sister.

Jess looked at her shoes. Erica had barely registered their comments. She settled herself on the couch with a slice of pizza and a glass of wine.

"So is he any good?"

Callie smiled wondering about the elbow punching. "Actually he is. They both are," she said stepping back into the center of the living room.

She signaled to Eric and he joined her on the floor taking up his position. Jess triggered the music and they began to move to a slower bachata starting with the easy 4 step movements that had them moving side to side, before throwing in the various spins Callie had been showing them. Spins were not a huge part of the movements in bachata dancing, but they were fun.

"Can you get a sense of what to do if you wanted to…you know get closer?" asked Callie.

He nodded quickly looking at their feet as his face turned crimson. Jess snickered. Erica raised an eyebrow. She had consumed one slice of pizza and was working on her glass of wine watching them. Callie hoped she was watching her, but she tried hard to not make eye contact.

"Okay, you don't need to practice that with me, you'll get it," said Callie.

"Chicken," she heard Jess utter. At the sound of chicken noises Callie let go of Eric.

"Alright smarty pants, come here and let's see how well you do," she motioned for Jess to join her.

Jess was about to protest, beg off, pretend she was sick, anything that would keep her off that dance floor, but she took one look at her smirking brother and got her confidence back. She stepped into his place as he restarted the song and it was now her and Callie moving in synch.

"So?" asked Callie. "Do you know what to do if you wanted to get closer?"

Jess did not flush and did not look at her feet. She stared at Callie and then started to pull at Callie's waist shifting their bodies with every step so the space between them got smaller.

Callie smiled. "You got it. Now when you're ready to impress…whoever, you'll know how."

This time Jess did blush and looked away. The song ended and Jess could not leave the dance floor fast enough. She backed out of the center of the room and grabbed her water. Another song came on and Eric grabbed his aunt pulling her off the couch.

"Come on, we'll be doing this at Christmas, so you need to learn it too."

Callie watched her. The wine had relaxed Erica a little and she let an easy smile cover her face. "Okay," she said arms outstretched. "Show me."

Eric tilted his head. "I'm not the teacher," he said taking her hand and leading her over to Callie. Callie took the hand being offered readily, but let go when she felt Erica pull back.

"I thought you were going to teach me everything you've learned," said Erica turning away from Callie and looking at him.

"Nope, all lessons start here," he said as he turned her back around to face Callie.

"It's okay Eric. She wants to learn from you," said Callie all of sudden wanting to leave this place. Erica had always wanted her here. She had always felt wanted here. She couldn't take not feeling wanted in this place and she was definitely not feeling wanted.

She felt moistness again in her eyes and started walking to her jacket when she felt a hand engulf hers and then familiar tugging.

"Okay, show me or they'll never shut up about it."

Callie gazed at the hand holding hers and looked up. She let the joy she felt well up inside her and gave Erica a smile and a gentle squeeze.

She took her position on the floor and began taking Erica through the steps. She tried to be all business about the teaching, but every touch, every movement felt sensual and she found her concentration lagging. The teens were sitting on the couch watching, but Callie lost all interest in them. Erica was focusing on what she had to do, wanting to do this right and well, like she did everything else.

It was fun and invigorating and Callie felt like there were sparks all over her skin. By the time they had established a rhythm and Callie had turned over the lead to Erica who, like her niece and nephew, was a natural, the touches took center stage and the steps and movements slipped into the background. She wanted to get lost in the touches and was feeling sorry that they had not done this before she ruined everything and let what they had go to hell.

But the conflicting emotions were causing her body to behave erratically. It felt like the richest warmest bath in the world to be here with Erica like this and then rain, cold and icy descended as the reality hit and she remembered that Erica wasn't exactly happy to see her. The tears were coming and she could not stop them. She closed her eyes hoping to at least contain them for awhile and pulled her hand out of Erica's grasp. She put both arms around Erica's neck as they continued the dance their steps never faltering. The side to side must have been boring to watch and she spared a brief thought to the teens watching from the couch.

Erica moved them closer and suddenly there were no watching teens in her world. There was just her and Erica.

The tears continued slipping out from under her closed eyes as every step reminded her that this was just a dance and that it didn't mean what she wanted it to mean. She felt Erica's body alongside hers, felt long arms go around her engulfing her in a hug and stopped breathing for a moment. This was the right shape, the right smell, the right everything.

They stood like that for some minutes before she heard Erica speak.

"You better get going. It's late."

They parted and Erica hurriedly reached for Callie's jacket. Callie looked around. The kids were not on the couch or in the kitchen. Callie accepted the jacket and thought briefly about finding them to say goodbye, but it was too hard to face them with the tears that were not stopping. So she put on her jacket and made her way to the door. She felt Erica behind her, but neither of them said a word or shared another look as Callie made her way out.

She made it to the car and managed to turn it on and back out of the driveway. She drove a block before she had to stop and put her head on the steering wheel, letting the tears have free reign. It would be some minutes before she could breathe and see again.

* * *

Coming in Chapter 4 – Callie, Erica, Arizona and Joyce enjoy a lovely basketball game.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Lovesick (Chapter 4)**

**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note:** A special thanks to all of those who've reviewed. Your comments are always a joy to read, so my sincerest thank you.

Chapter 4

The next morning Callie was Distraction Incorporated. She could do nothing. It was her day off. She had errands to run, bills to pay, laundry and a host of other things on her to do list, but all she had managed was breakfast and bathroom trips. And she wasn't sure if she could really count a handful of cheerios eaten directly out of the box as a real breakfast. Christina was at the hospital. Christina was always at the hospital.

She was lying in her bed feeling pathetic when she heard the doorbell ring and ring and ring. Throwing on a robe she made her way to the door intending on biting off the head of whoever was outside her apartment. She pressed the intercom and yelled into it.

"What?!"

"Dr. Torres?"

"Yeah, what? Who the hell is this?"

"It's Eric. Eric Hahn."

"Shit! Sorry, hang on I'll buzz you in."

She buzzed him in, wondered if anything was wrong and then made a dash for her bedroom. She jumped into some sweats combed out her hair with her hands and ran back to the front hall to open the door.

"Hey," she said when she saw him trotting down the hallway.

"Hey, I just wanted to drop these off," he said handing her two tickets.

"What are they?"

"They're for Jess's game. We thought maybe you'd like to come. There are two cause my aunt said if we invite you, we had to get you two tickets, so you can bring a friend if you wanted. We really hope you can come."

Callie smiled. "I would love to! So your aunt is okay with me coming?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sorry I have to go, she's waiting outside. Hope to see you there."

She grabbed him before he could disappear. "Wait, are you sure she's okay with it?"

"Yeah, of course. You're coming right?"

She smiled. "Most definitely."

"Okay see you there," he said trotting back down the hall and toward the elevator.

Callie fingered the tickets and continued smiling. She would not need the extra, but her day was definitely looking much better. Last night she had felt melancholy and depressed at the reminder of what she had thrown away, but today she had Erica to look forward to again. So what if it was a sport she knew nothing about. It was Erica and it was Erica being okay with her hanging around her family.

* * *

When her doorbell rang unexpectedly again just as she was getting ready to leave for the game, she smiled. Sometimes unexpected visitors brought nice presents. She had just finished fixing her hair and gave it a few twitches before eagerly pressing the intercom button.

"Hello?"

"Calliope, it's me Arizona."

"Arizona? What are you doing here?"

"We have dinner plans."

_Shit!_

Callie buzzed her in running through a list of lame excuses in her head. She considered the truth for a second, but didn't feel like she had time to get into that conversation.

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

Arizona was all bright smiles and puppy dog eyes when Callie opened the door. She looked at Callie appreciatively as she stepped into the apartment.

"You look great," she said as she shed her jacket. "This is a great place. I tried calling earlier, but you weren't answering your phone, so I thought I'd be spontaneous."

"Yeah, thanks. Listen Arizona, I know we made tentative plans, but I kind of forgot I had tickets to something."

"Oh, well is it something we can find another ticket for?"

"Well, see it's kind of a group thing. I'm going with some other people."

Arizona was standing near the side table where Callie usually dumped her keys and purse, still holding her jacket. She looked down and noticed the tickets. She picked them up.

"A basketball game?"

"Yeah," said Callie clearing her throat. She was not dating this woman, owed her no explanations and had no reason to lie, so she went with the truth.

"Erica's niece is in the game. I'm going with Erica and her family."

"Oh," said Arizona. "That's who this ticket is for? I would think she already has a ticket."

"No, she probably does, that's just extra."

Silence. Callie was about to speak, to excuse herself and get going to the game when she heard the question.

"So this ticket doesn't belong to anyone?"

"No," said Callie automatically and then realized where Arizona was going.

"But um…I mean I'm going _with_ Erica." Okay so that was a little lie, since it kind of sounded like she meant as in a date.

"As in a date?"

Callie sighed. "No, as friends," _and to see if a date is possible_, she finished in her head.

"So as friends, well we're friends and since we originally had plans, maybe we can both go to the game."

"Umm"

"We're all friends, right?"

"Right," said Callie.

* * *

Callie was hurriedly making her way to the stands and the seats where Erica and Eric were waiting for her, cursing her inability to thwart Arizona Robbins who was busy trying to keep up with Callie's hurried pace. She saw them seated right behind the benches that held a team dressed in white and orange. It was hard not miss them as Eric was in his band uniform. Band geek indeed!

She continued making her way stepping over and around equipment and people, never taking her eyes off of them. Behind her she heard Arizona mutter something about sweaty musty gyms, but she had neither the time nor inclination to engage her. Finally Eric noticed her and started waving. Erica turned at his motions and almost smiled. Callie had seen it, had seen her eyes start to get shiny and wide and then the mask was back in place. Callie looked behind her briefly knowing that no matter how hurried the pace, she had not lost Arizona. Arizona was still right behind her.

_Damn it!_

She reached Eric who looked behind at her in confusion.

"Friend?" he asked getting up and moving so that Callie could sit next to Erica.

"Not a particularly good one," she muttered. She saw his confused look as he let her pass him and sat down, effectively placing himself between Callie and Arizona. He did not question Callie further on her friend.

"Eric Hahn," he said to Arizona extending his hand.

Arizona introduced herself to him, but no formal introductions between her and Erica were forthcoming. Erica sat with her gaze on the court, letting it wander every once in awhile to the player's bench. Callie let out a breath and then leaned in close to Erica.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," said Erica not looking at her.

"Listen, she just came by and saw the extra ticket and then she wouldn't take no for an answer."

Erica said nothing and Callie slumped back feeling defeated before she got started.

"You don't have to explain anything to me," she heard from Erica.

She turned but Erica's gaze was still on the action in front of her.

"I know, but I want to. I need to," said Callie. Erica went back to the stony silence.

Callie looked at her. She was so goddamned cute. She had on dark jeans and an orange Triton Park long sleeve shirt. She was wearing her glasses and the combination of the dark jeans with the dark frames on her pale face was enticing and made Callie want things. She wanted things to be like they had yesterday for the few minutes they were just on that dance floor. She sighed.

"Erica if you want me to leave, I can leave. I don't have to be here. I want to be here, but if it makes you…"

"I don't want _you_ to leave," said Erica finally looking at her. "But that's not really fair to your…friend."

Callie wanted to smile. She wanted to sing and soar and then she wanted to beat herself to a pulp for allowing Arizona to bully her way to this event. She wanted to say something to Erica that would affect Erica the way Erica's words had affected her, that would let her know she would give anything for it to be just the two of them again, but she never got the chance.

"Hey Erica!' she heard and suddenly the short brunette from yesterday was there and plopping herself into the empty seat on the other side of Erica.

"Hello Ms. Healy," said Erica straightening in her seat and extending her hand.

"Please call me Joyce."

The woman took Erica's hand and held it not letting Erica go until she had engulfed Erica's hand with both of hers for a few seconds. She looked at Callie.

"I don't think we've met," she said with a bit of a challenge in her voice.

"I'm Dr. Callie Torres. I'm a friend of Erica's," said Callie reaching over and gripping the woman's hand firmly. Her reach propelled her into Erica and she took advantage of the move, letting her body linger there long after the hand shake. She was pressed as tightly to Erica as she dared. It was as close to pissing on her as she could get without just straddling her.

Erica had turned back to the court and the players warming up. Her glance went to the opposing team's band as they prepared to get on the court.

"Why isn't Triton's band playing before the game?" she asked Joyce.

Callie leaned in even closer, a move that elicited a perplexed look from Erica, but she had no time to question Callie as Joyce began explaining.

"Oh well the opposing team's band plays now. We play at halftime and winner plays at the end. We'll actually be leaving halfway through the first half to take our places over at the end of the court. We'll be playing from time to time during the game to provide some emotional support, so I'm afraid you only have me and Eric here for a short time."

"Ah," said Erica.

Erica turned her attention to Callie who was tense and still leaning pretty hard into her. Callie felt like a rubber band that might snap at any moment.

"You okay?" asked Erica.

"I'm cold," answered Callie with a weak smile. She wasn't really, but she couldn't very well tell the truth.

_I want to drape myself all over you and claim you._

"Do you want to just drape my jacket over your shoulders? It won't fit over your leather jacket, but it might ward off some of the chill."

"Yeah, that would be great." _Well that worked out_, thought Callie.

The seats were small so it was a little awkward to do, but they managed. Eric was giving Callie these little smiles and one time she thought she saw him shift his eyes between her and Erica rapidly, using his eyebrows to communicate something she wasn't sure she understood. She smiled back hoping whatever he was trying to say was something good and let herself enjoy Erica's jacket draped around her shoulders.

Callie glanced at Joyce who was leaning away from Erica with a furrowed brow and had to suppress the urge to smirk. She sighed happily and was almost getting ready to lean her head on Erica's shoulder when Erica turned her head.

"You okay? Warm enough now?" she asked.

Callie smiled. "Yeah, fine, great. Really great."

"Okay," said Erica whose eyes glanced past Eric to where Arizona was probably sitting. She turned away when she noticed Callie watching her and returned her gaze to the court. Callie looked at Arizona seeing a confused look on Arizona's face. She was still smiling though, which alleviated some of Callie's guilt.

Callie turned her attention to the action in front of her scanning the court for Jess. She saw a blonde pony tail with a number 10 on the back and the name HAHN spelled out in big orange letters and turned to Erica placing a hand on the arm resting on the tiny armrest that separated the two seats.

"Is that Jess?" she asked.

"Yes. Number 10. She's a guard but she can also play the forward position."

Callie blinked. She had no idea what Erica had just said, but Erica continued talking and that was good, so she nodded and hung on her every word.

The game was fast paced, which surprised Callie a little. She hadn't been expecting such a pace from a high school game. Halfway through the first half Eric and Joyce left their seats and joined the rest of the band. His stiff uniform and the small area made the hug he gave her awkward, but they made it work.

"Party at my aunt's after the game, you better be there," he whispered as he let her go.

He let his eyes shift to Erica briefly and then return to her. She was going to have to ask him for lessons in this secret eyes and eyebrow language he seemed to think she knew. Arizona immediately took his seat giving Callie a brilliant smile and even extending a bright hello to Erica, who merely acknowledged the gesture with a nod.

Callie kept her focus on Erica trying to put a clamp on the guilt she was starting to feel about Arizona. She listened as Erica explained facets of the game every now and then and after awhile found herself completely turning her body so it was angled towards Erica, her hand permanently planted on Erica's arm.

By half-time Arizona was sulking and Callie was alternating between feeling miserable about the Arizona situation and happy to just be allowed to be like this with Erica again. She blamed herself. She should not have brought Arizona. Even if Arizona had invited herself, Callie should have found a way to explain things to her. Resolving that she needed to do something, she turned to Arizona at the start of half-time.

"I'm going to the lady's room, want to come?"

She still had her hand on Erica's arm and felt it stiffen before it was removed from her grasp entirely. Callie closed her eyes. She wanted to growl in frustration.

Arizona smiled and stood, making her way down the aisle of seats. Callie stood up to follow, but turned to Erica before walking away. "I'll be right back," she said. "Don't let anyone take my seat."

Erica nodded but did not look at her.

"I'm serious. I want to come back and sit right here in the very same, very comfortable position I was in before." She removed Erica's jacket from her shoulders and placed it on her seat. She saw Erica reach for the jacket and questioned her.

"Are you cold?"

Erica looked up at her. "No, but I thought you might be done with it."

"No, in fact" she started to say as she removed her own jacket. "I think yours is warmer than mine." She laid her jacket on her seat and picked up Erica's putting her hand through the sleeves and giving Erica a smile.

"Yours is leather," said Erica.

"And?" said Callie before turning and making her way to the end of the aisle, where Arizona and her bright smile were waiting.

* * *

"Good game," said Arizona. "I didn't know you were into basketball, but it's a good fast paced game. Is the girl in the pony tail related to Erica?"

"Her niece," said Callie as they made their way to the corridor outside the gym. Callie stopped. "Listen, I'm sorry this is so uncomfortable for you and I understand if you want to bail. I can give you my car if you just want to go home. I'll arrange to pick it up from you later. You don't have to stay."

"No, I'm having a good time. It wasn't what we had planned, but I don't mind."

Callie sighed. "See the thing is…I want to try again with Erica, so me and you…"

"Oh" said Arizona looking away. "I thought you were just trying to be friends with her."

Callie shook her head.

"Does Erica feel the same way? Does she want to try again?"

"I don't know," said Callie. "But I want to find out."

"So I guess I'm getting in your way."

Callie said nothing, hoping the silence would convey the message. When nothing was said for a full minute, Callie felt more clarity was in order.

"Arizona you're a wonderful person and I like you, but not in the way you want me to."

"Right, because you're still hung up on someone else."

Callie laughed and nodded. "Yeah, something like that." _Try completely and insanely in love with someone else._

Arizona was shaking her head. "Okay, I feel really stupid."

"Don't. Another time, another place, another set of circumstance and things might have been different, but right now, right here, it's Erica. I have to give that a chance."

"And if she doesn't want that second chance with you?"

Callie let out a breath, "Then I'll deal with that."

"Is there anything I can do to make this different?" asked Arizona looking away.

Callie reached out a hand to caress her face. "You are a wonderful person and you will find someone, but in this no, there is nothing you can do to make this turn out differently."

Arizona let herself enjoy the touch. Callie saw it in her eyes in the pressure she felt on her palm for the brief moment before Callie removed her hand.

Arizona stepped back. "I think I'll try to get a cab."

"You won't get a cab here. Just take my car." She pulled the keys from her purse and gave them to her. "I'll arrange to pick it up later."

She started to walk away, not wanting to miss Eric's performance entirely.

"Callie?"

She turned.

"Be careful. I don't…I hope it works out. I really do, but from what I've heard about Erica. She's a hard person to love."

Callie's eyes flashed. "No, she's not. I love her already, so no, it's not hard at all."

She turned abruptly and tried putting the last few seconds of that exchange far from her mind. The important thing was that she was going back; she was going back to sit next to Erica and watch Erica's nephew and niece perform and hopefully Erica would let Callie touch her and everything would be okay again.

* * *

She didn't understand all the nuances of the game, but Callie knew enough to know that Jess was good. She was clearly the best player on her team and gave most of the players on the other team a challenge. She had caught the last half of Eric's performance with the band and he seemed to enjoy himself. Where his sister was hyper focused on her game, never once looking their way to acknowledge them, he looked at them often, joked with his band mates and generally caused trouble. Joyce was constantly sending him evil looks.

The best thing about the performance and the game had been Erica's commentary delivered directly to her ear in whispers. She had been engrossed in the halftime performance when she first heard Erica's delicious voice in her ear.

"He's actually a great musician, but he's not that into band. He participates so he can travel to the games for free. I think he drives the band teacher nuts. He thinks she just keeps him in band because he can play virtually every instrument, so he makes a good utility man."

Callie smiled and nodded and tried everything she could think of to encourage the whispers. She asked questions, leaned in to make comments she hoped Erica would respond to and even tried to feign confusion at some of the plays to see if Erica would attempt an explanation.

Callie was glad it was just the two of them watching the second half. It felt nice and very date like. The game got close in the middle of the second half and Callie found herself on the edge of her seat, clutching Erica's arm as they entered the last ten minutes of the game. Erica was on edge too. She was cracking her knuckles with one hand and running through surgeon hand exercises absently with the other. When Jess's team started to surge ahead again she heard random words that made no sense to her come out of Erica's mouth.

"Pick!"

"D up"

"Switch"

It was the best basketball game Callie had ever been to and she felt that way even before Jess's team won and she found herself on the receiving end of a long hug from Erica.

* * *

Coming in Chapter 5 – Victories require parties which means more dancing on the way.


	5. Chapter 5

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 5)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 5

They waited around for Jess and Eric in the corridor talking like they used to talk and Callie was enjoying just feeling normal, something she hadn't felt in a month. Erica was talking and the talk was directed at her and she was basking in that. Finally the crowd started to thin and students began making their way out of locker rooms. The question was unexpected. She had expected it an hour ago, but not now.

"Where did your friend go?" asked Erica.

"She…I…I knew she wasn't having a good time, so I gave her my car and she went home."

"You gave her your car? Your precious baby blue mustang?"

"Yeah," said Callie all of sudden feeling queasy that someone else had her baby.

"She must have been having a really bad time," said Erica.

Callie tilted her head. "Actually, I asked her to go."

Erica looked at her. "You asked her to go?"

"I saw she was miserable and I was not digging her being here anyway, so I asked her to leave."

"Oh"

"Hey guys!" said Eric as he came bouncing towards them with his instrument case.

"Nice horn action," said Callie keeping an eye on Erica who still seemed to be processing their last conversation.

"Thanks," he gave her a hug and then hugged his Aunt. "Great game for Jess. She was awesome! Hey," he waved two young women over who were standing awkwardly some distance away.

The short one had dark curly hair that she tried to control with various barrettes, but wisps of hair still managed to free themselves and fall in no discernable pattern around her face and shoulders. The taller girl had wavy red hair that looked completely and perfectly styled. They both held instrument cases that looked vaguely familiar to Callie.

"Aunt Erica, Dr. Torres, these are my friends, I mean our friends, me and Jess's friends."

"Seriously Eric, I'm going to start calling you James Taylor if you don't stop. It's Callie," she said.

"Callie," he corrected. "This is my best friend Kate and her friend Carmen. Well my friend too, but she was Kate's friend first and so well you know, now we're friends too."

Callie smiled and put an arm around his waist. "We get it, you're friends."

She tried duplicating the shifty eyes and eyebrow thing he had been trying with her earlier, but wasn't sure she was successful as he was looking a little confused.

"Anyway, Jess should be out in a minute. We still going back to your place, Aunt Erica?" he asked.

"Not everyone is going right? I don't have room for the band and the team at my house."

"Nah, it'll just be a few of us. I have some dance moves I need to try out." He looked at Carmen who smirked at him. She was the shorter girl with curly wild dark hair, but she moved like someone who felt tall and confident.

"So you say," said Carmen.

"So say we all," he finished. "Hey conquering hero!" he shouted as he saw his sister walking up to them surrounding by a few girls from the basketball team.

Jess smiled at them. She hugged Erica and then hugged Callie hard. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too," said Callie.

She watched Jess go stand next to her brother, trying to look natural, but she kept stealing looks at the red head with wavy hair that Eric had indentified as his best friend Kate. It was quick and very subtle. If Callie had not been adept at those sly on the fly looks herself she would have missed it.

"Great game Jess!" said a faraway voice.

Callie turned to see Joyce coming their way. She had to stop herself from rushing to Erica's side and grasping her hand protectively. She didn't rush, but she began to make her way in careful steps knowing she had to get there slow, but before the annoying band teacher. She reached Erica in three simple steps, made easier by Eric's strategic move around and out of her way.

Erica had her hands in her jacket pockets and ever so casually, like she was still in high school, Callie hooked a finger in the pocket of Erica's jeans, effectively attaching herself to Erica. Erica either didn't notice or didn't mind. It barely registered in her facial expressions that Callie had made such a possessive move.

"Thanks Ms. Healy," said Jess as the teacher walked up to them.

"So are you still taking some of these jokers to your house Erica?"

"Only some," said Erica sounding nervous. She glanced at Callie, "Do you want to come? You don't have to."

"Of course I want to. You're gonna need help feeding them."

"We were going to order pizza again. It's easy and you've hooked them on the pizza from that place you like."

"I'll help you chaperone Erica," said Joyce. "Okay I have directions to your place, but I have to make sure everyone else gets back to the hotel, so how do you want to work this?"

"Do you have a big school bus?" asked Callie feeling the need to take charge of the plan.

"I'm not driving it, but yes and we have a school van too."

"Why don't you take everyone back to the hotel? That way they can drop off their instruments or equipment. Jess and Eric can leave their stuff with us and ride in the bus with you. Then they'll pile everyone that's coming over in the van and you can all make your way to Erica's after you drop everyone else at the hotel. In the meantime Erica and I will go to her house to set up." She looked at Erica. "Sound like a plan?"

"That sounds good to me," said Erica.

"Alright then, let's go," said Eric.

He gave Callie one of his looks. She looked to Jess hoping for some help translating it and got a smirk instead.

Callie shrugged them off. She was happy with her plan. It did not involve being around Joyce and it gave her and Erica some time alone. All in all, a perfect little plan.

* * *

Callie and Erica had always worked well together; they had a synchronicity with each other that Callie had never experienced with anyone else. The few meals they had cooked together back when they were still just friendly had demonstrated that to her. But they seemed off today. They were constantly bumping each other, finding themselves reaching for the same item or moving down the same hallway simultaneously, bumping shoulders and hips and other random body parts. They were trying to teenage proof the house, removing precious vases and other decorative pieces that would not survive an accidental bump. At any other time it would have upset Callie to not be in synch with Erica, but today she was finding it delightful for their hands to reach into the same drawer at the same time. The bumps in the hall got interesting when Erica started reaching for her hand after they bumped and holding it for a few seconds, even after they had separated.

They had ordered the pizza on arriving, but the kids arrived before the pizza, so they had to settle for the snacks Erica had been instructed to buy earlier. The ten girls from the team were there and five members of the band: Kate and Carmen and three boys. Two of the boys stuck pretty close to each other, while the third seemed to gravitate to some of the girls on the basketball team. They were introduced to everyone, but the kids were pretty self-sufficient and Callie found herself with not much to do. She was leaning against a wall next to Erica who was looking around as if she couldn't believe there were so many people in her house.

Callie glanced around for the other chaperone glad that Joyce's familiarity with the kids kept her busy. She was forever answering a question and had so far not sought them out which was fine with Callie.

"Are you noticing how the music keeps getting louder?" asked Erica leaning in close to Callie.

Callie could not help but reciprocate, moving closer, wanting to erase the distance between them entirely. She nodded in acknowledgement, well aware of that trick. She had used it many times at her parents parties, turning the volume up by degrees hoping no one noticed.

"So do they always have parties when they visit?' asked Callie mimicking Erica's movements and leaning in close to speak in Erica's ear.

"No, they asked and well it is a pretty big deal for Jess. Recruiters from Tennessee and Stanford were out there today. She had a great game. She was so excited, so…" she shrugged.

Callie looked around observing the small cliques as they formed, disbanded and reformed. After ignoring each other for the first hour, Callie noted that Jess and Kate were pretty inseparable. She had been watching Jess all night. Jess was a lot like Erica. She was bold and aggressive with her teammates, so it was surprising to see her turn into a virtual wallflower with Kate who floated around Jess like a leaf that was unsure of its landing. They stood close, shared casual touches, but the more bold moves came from Kate and Callie had a hard time deciphering Jess's reactions. It wasn't outright rejection, but it wasn't acceptance either. Every time Jess retreated from her, Kate would back off and it was back to small smiles and shy touches and then the touches got bold again and the cycle would repeat. She thought about pointing it out to Erica, but ultimately decided against it. She didn't need to be telling things that more than likely Jess would want to tell herself.

Eric seemed to have no trouble making his interest known. He danced with Carmen and only Carmen. He danced slow and fast and most times they were the only dancers on the makeshift dance floor that was Erica's living room. Callie frowned. She looked around. There were a lot of girls in this room and only three boys. She didn't think she had gaydar, but she thought she saw the two boys from the band doing the same hands touching thing she had tried with Erica at the hospital and figured they were probably together. It was obvious Kate and Jess liked each other, but that was being kept bottled up as well. There were other interesting couplings among the girls that could have been just friendly or something more. The only couple openly being a couple was the heterosexual couple.

She looked at Erica who was still doing the nervous watching thing.

"Erica"

"Hmm?"

"We have to dance."

"What?"

"We have to dance," repeated Callie.

Erica looked around as if trying to reconcile the statement with the context.

"Why? I mean, I don't…mind dancing…with you, but…"

"Because the only couple dancing is the heterosexual couple and I think we have some gay couples here that don't know it's okay to dance and so we have to dance."

Erica gave her a serious look. "We aren't a couple. Been there, tried that, didn't work."

"I didn't work," said Callie. "_We_ totally work, it was me who didn't work and we still have to dance."

She grabbed Erica's hand and led her to the space that had been the living room feeling the nervous looks they were getting.

"How about we try that new dance I showed you Eric?" she said.

"Hell yeah!" he answered.

He ran over to queue up the correct music and joined them on the floor. It was _Bachata Rosa_, which was a little fast, but slow enough that with the right partner it could get interesting and she definitely had the right partner. She put her arms around Erica's neck and they began to move.

For the first minute, it was just the two couples, but then Jess joined them leading Kate by the hand. The boys joined them next and soon there was a shortage of space on the floor. Most of the kids didn't know the steps, but _Bachata Rose_ was close enough to a ballad that they managed to kind of slow dance to the song.

Callie was having a hard time noticing anything about the other dancers, however. For four minutes she was in heaven and everything felt good and right and she did not feel queasy, or empty, or sick. She let Erica lead, but encouraged closeness by wrapping her arms tighter around her neck. They said nothing when the dance ended. They were still holding hands as they made their way to the wall they had staked out as their space. Once they reached it, Erica removed her hand from Callie's and resumed her position on the wall, her gaze fixed straight ahead. Callie felt a return of the emptiness and wished she could have something stronger than coke tonight.

The music got louder faster after that, although the teens looked nervously at Erica every time they messed with the volume. Callie noticed Kate and Jess heading in their direction, threading their way through the crowd hand and hand and nudged Erica.

"Did you know about that?" she asked.

Erica straightened. "I did not."

"Aunt Erica, this is Kate, my…umm… girlfriend?"

"Like a question mark girlfriend?" asked Kate with a smile.

Callie laughed. "Already in trouble Jess?"

Jess tried one of those eyebrow looks on her, but Callie was a lost cause and could not even begin to imagine what that signal meant.

"Can I borrow Callie for minute, Aunt Erica?" asked Jess.

"Sure of course," said a surprised Erica.

Jess whispered something to Kate and then dragged Callie towards the kitchen. Callie didn't know what this was about, but since she might not get another chance to question Jess about Kate, she took advantage of the opportunity.

"So how long has that been going on?" asked Callie once they reached the kitchen, directing her eyes to where Kate stood talking to Erica.

"Officially, about a day, like as in today. Unofficially forever," said Jess dramatically leaning her head against the fridge and closing her eyes.

"Okay so what's with the little language with the eyebrows and the eyes?" asked Callie noting that Jess might not be ready to talk about everything yet.

Jess laughed. "It's something Eric and I kind of just do. You're getting good at it. Eric started doing it with you because he knew that you had noticed us doing it. Most people don't, notice I mean."

"So there's no cheat sheet or anything?"

"No, but you're doing fine. Listen Callie, I wanted to thank you for tonight, the dance and well for the other night too."

"What about the other night?"

Jess sighed and looked down at her sneakers.

"When Kate told me she had feelings for me, I freaked. I had feelings for her too, but that was easy to ignore when it was just me. When she told me it wasn't just me, I freaked out pretty badly. I said a lot of things that hurt her and I thought that was the end of it, that I had ruined everything by freaking out. I was so scared. There are gay girls and guys at our school and they get treated pretty badly sometimes and I didn't want people treating me or Kate like that." She looked directly at Callie now.

"The other night, you said you had made mistakes and that you acted badly when everything happened with my aunt. It reminded me of me. I don't know what happened between you two, but you just seemed so sad and yet so willing to still like be there, fighting for what you wanted. I thought if you could be brave, I could too."

Callie had tears in her eyes and for once they were not grief laden tears.

"So thank you for the other night," finished Jess.

"Jess, I appreciate the sentiment, but you being brave had nothing to do with me. That was all you because if there is one thing I'm not, it's brave. But I'm glad you found the courage Jess." She paused and then looked over at Kate. "She's cute," she said smiling.

"Yeah, she is," laughed Jess.

"You're a fantastic basketball player Jess, but you're an amazing person. You and your brother are both pretty awesome. Thank you for not hating me."

Callie looked over at where Erica stood still in conversation with Kate. Miraculously they seemed to be doing okay. She sighed.

"I'm not sure I can get her back, but I'm trying and you know what, I will continue trying because we're worth it. I'm worth it and so is she."

"She loves you," said Jess now leaning on the countertop, hands clasped together. "You can see it from here. My mom said the girl she came out for broke her heart. That was you right?"

Callie looked down. "Yeah, that would be me. I was stupid and scared and Erica was smart and brave." She looked at Jess. "I probably don't deserve her, but I can't help this… feeling I have that with her I'm whole. Sounds silly, doesn't it? I had given up on true love and soul mates after my marriage ended, but then Erica comes along and just blows all my ideas of romantic love out of the water. She tugs at me and tugs at me."

She stopped talking and just focused on Erica in conversation. By some weird psychic energy, Erica seemed to notice her and turned her head giving Callie a questioning smile.

"I was prepared to hate you when we figured out who you probably were, but you looked so messed up, more so than Aunt Erica. You looked a little sick to tell you the truth," said Jess.

Callie returned Erica's smile with a more reassuring one of her own before answering Jess. "I was. I am when I'm not with her and sometimes when I am because when we're together it reminds me of being together and the ways we're not and that is….hard and a little melodramatic, but I'm a drama queen, so it goes with the territory I guess."

She glanced at Jess's pensive face. "After she broke up with me, I tried ignoring it for awhile, this feeling that I was connected to her. I thought I could pull the plug on the thing tying me to her after she ended it, but I couldn't. I don't think I'll ever be free of it. I just hope I can get her to feel it again. There are moments when I think she feels it, but then the moment disappears and it's just me again."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry to be unloading all of this on you. Go get your girlfriend, dance."

"You too," said Jess pushing off the counter and giving her another one of those raised eyebrow looks that Callie thought she understood as _Get with it already_.

* * *

They watched the teens talk and eat and drink copious amounts of sugar laced coke for long hours. She stuck close to Erica for most of the night and had to endure Joyce's conversation, but apart from that minor annoyance she was thoroughly enjoying herself. Ms. Healy was not really a bad person. She was interesting and nice and eventually got the hints Callie was tossing at her. That was good, because if she kept ignoring Callie's hints like she had the first couple of times, Callie was going to start shooting them at her with a shotgun and that would probably not end well.

The first time had been shortly after her and Erica's first dance. Joyce had come over to thank Erica for giving the kids a space to be themselves, had placed a hand on Erica's bicep, squeezed and stroked before letting go. Callie had been on her way back from her talk with Jess. She had taken the opportunity to get a drink after having sent Jess off to dance with her girlfriend when she witnessed the move. She tried controlling her breathing as she made her way over to them trying to figure out what to do.

What she wanted to do was kiss Erica and it was at the top of her lists of how to deal with Joyce up until she walked up to them. Erica glanced her way as she walked up and smiled.

"Hello" said Erica.

Kissing would complicate everything, so instead Callie quickly switched her icy drink from one hand to the other and reached for Erica with a cold hand.

"I'm cold again," she said sheepishly.

It worked. Erica looked down at her hand and squeezed and rubbed.

"You are. You should probably lay off the cold drinks."

_Not if it gets me this kind of attention,_ thought Callie.

"It makes me cold all over," she said as she stepped closer, letting her forehead fall forward onto Erica's shoulder. They were so close that she felt their joined hands press into Erica's thigh.

"Do you want a sweater? I would turn the heat up, but I don't think anyone else is cold."

"Can I just stay here?"

"Sure okay," said Erica letting go of Callie's cold hand and hesitating only briefly before beginning to rub Callie's back.

After a few minutes, Erica spoke. "Feeling warmer now?" she asked.

Callie sighed. "I guess," she said reluctantly removing herself from the warm spot. She looked for Joyce, but Joyce had disappeared.

The second time she had to drop a hint occurred when Joyce asked Erica to dance. Erica had looked perplexed at the request, but after a glance in Callie's direction she let Joyce lead her onto the floor. Some of the students started to hoot before the death glares from Eric and Jess quieted them down.

They were awkward together and it was unclear to Callie who was leading and who was following. She was imagining a Scotch in her hand as she watched them, but found herself unable to keep her eyes focused on them for long. It was an exercise in sadomasochism. She would force her eyes to look and face what she had lost, what she might not get back until her stomach threatened to purge her of the misery she felt building inside and then she had to turn away. The second time she turned away, she turned herself completely around to face the wall, leaning her forehead on it and closing her eyes. On her third try when she ended up once again facing the wall, she felt a hand at her back.

"Don't wallow in it."

She turned to see Eric smiling at her. "You have too much of a pretty smile to let yourself be this miserable."

She was about to tell him to go away, but she couldn't find the words and so she focused on figuring out where her jacket was so that she could leave, but then remembered that she didn't have a car. _Shit!_

"Don't wallow in it," he repeated. "Go over there and do something about it. If you don't like the situation, change it," he finished and then did the shifty eye thing complete with a sharp jerk of his head in Erica's direction.

If she had been drinking liquid courage, otherwise known as Scotch, it would have been easier. Coke just made you jumpy and cold, but his words penetrated and she remembered that she was hot and smart. She was worth it. She remembered the words she had said to Jess. Erica was worth it. They were worth it. She pushed off the wall, set her cup down and moved toward the awkward couple.

They didn't seem to be dancing together, each woman moving to her own beat, but everyone knew that dancing was sometimes an art and sometimes it was just an excuse to touch and be touched and she wanted the touching between these two to end.

She had never done this, didn't know if there was a protocol that had to be observed other than what she'd seen in the movies, but starting off polite seemed the best way.

"Excuse me," she said as she stepped into their space.

Erica turned to her. "Callie? You okay?"

Callie spared her only a glance before turning to Joyce. "I'm cutting in," she said grabbing Erica's hand tightly in hers. She thought maybe she had done it wrong, thought perhaps she should have asked instead of told, but it didn't matter. Joyce bowed her head in acknowledgement or defeat, Callie didn't care which, and stepped off the dance floor.

Callie turned to Erica, no courage left beyond what she had just displayed and waited for Erica's reaction. She had planned on finishing the dance with Erica, but her stomach was still in turmoil and she wasn't sure how Erica would respond to her actions, so she froze. She felt a tug and then Erica was pulling her into a dance. It was slower than the music called for, but they were moving in synch again and somewhere in Callie's body, a switch was thrown and the ache in her stomach receded and she felt good and whole again.

The music changed and became slower and now their movements matched the song. It was slow and sensual and took Callie completely out of herself. She didn't know exactly at what point in the dance their bodies had merged, but they had. She felt their thighs brush, Erica's hands drawing patterns on her back, their foreheads coming together, and their short and shallow breaths. The dance was painfully short and Callie resisted the urge to whimper when it ended as bodies separated at the first sounds of the vicious drum line of a much faster paced song.

After that, Joyce was a non-issue.

* * *

Coming in Chapter 6 – The end of the night and a cold harsh morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 6)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 6

Callie ended the night on the couch asleep on Erica's shoulder. She awoke to the very annoying sensation of poking. She was being poked in the side by Eric.

"Everyone's gone and this is my bed, so up, both of you."

"Hey quit poking her," said Erica. "You okay Callie?"

"Yeah, wow, have I been asleep a long time?"

"About ten minutes. Everyone's gone." There was a pause. "You don't have a car," stated Erica.

"Seriously up, my bed, need it," said Eric taking off his shoes.

Erica stood and pulled Callie with her. "You don't have a car, so I need to take you home."

"No," said Callie. She didn't want to go home. She wanted to stay here or wherever Erica was. "Want to be with you," she said still sleepy.

"Well go be with her in her bedroom and not here," said Eric as he threw blankets and pillows on the couch.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth after your sister gets out of the bathroom," instructed Erica before leading Callie to her bedroom.

She picked up Callie's jacket which was the only jacket left on the bed.

"Callie, I think I should take you home," she said draping the jacket on Callie's shoulders.

Callie was cranky. She was tired and didn't want to leave, so she shrugged the jacket off and began removing her shirt and shoes.

"What are you doing?" asked Erica reaching for the jacket that had fallen to the floor and looking away from Callie's almost naked upper body.

Callie saw her glance at the very open door and walk to it closing it hurriedly. By the time she turned around, Callie had removed her pants as well.

"What the hell? First of all Eric is out there, so please stop shedding clothes and second you need to put your clothes back on so I can take you home."

Callie was already pulling back Erica's covers and climbing into the bed.

"Erica, you need to come to bed," she said matter-of-factly.

"Callie we can't sleep in the same bed. We tried it and it didn't work, remember?"

"I remember trying it a second time when I wasn't being a freak and liking it a lot. I'm not a freak now, but I am tired and I have no car and it's late, so no you are not taking me home and yes, I am sleeping here with you. Now take your clothes off and come to bed."

Cranky Callie was apparently a little more articulate than normal Callie.

Erica stood her hands crossed at her chest.

"I am not taking my clothes off and getting into bed with you."

"It would be more comfortable," sighed Callie. She really was tired and would rather snuggle than argue.

"For you maybe, but not for me. I would definitely not be comfortable." She removed her glasses and put them on her dresser. "At the very least, please put some clothes on," she said as she rummaged through her drawer and found a t-shirt tossing it to Callie before stepping into her bathroom.

Callie caught the t-shirt. She fingered it debating the merits of continuing the argument and hoping she would win and get to sleep partially naked with Erica or giving up and just sleeping in Erica's shirt. She considered Erica's comment. Was Erica not comfortable because she still found Callie attractive or because she didn't anymore? Deciding that the possibility of partial nakedness was more desirable then sleeping in Erica's shirt and wanting to believe that that the tone of Erica's commentary on feeling comfortable suggested she still found Callie attractive, she shucked the t-shirt to the side.

Erica came out of the bathroom minty fresh and still fully dressed. Callie got up in just her bra and panties and in full view of Erica. She walked over and grabbed Erica's hand leading her to the bed and making her sit.

"You can't sleep in your shoes," she said and started removing those. Once she was done she pulled Erica up and started working on her pants. "And pants are uncomfortable," she said.

Erica's hands covered hers. "Callie we can't do this."

"Erica, we're not doing anything. I'm just taking off your pants so you can go to sleep. You do it every night."

"I don't have it done to me every night."

"Well I'm really, really glad to hear that."

Callie continued working on the pants, pulling down the zipper and hooking her fingers on the waist. She pulled down the jeans tried to keep her breathing regulated and helped Erica move her legs so she could step out of the pants.

She thought she was under control as she straightened, but her hands settled themselves on the waist in front of her and the feel of Erica's skin sent those familiar tingles up and down her body. She closed her eyes and breathed. Erica's hands moved to Callie's arms and squeezed.

"We can't do this," she repeated.

"We're not doing anything but getting ready for bed," answered Callie softly. She reached for the hem of the long sleeve t-shirt Erica had been sporting and pulled removing the shirt.

"See, now we're even," said Callie as she let the shirt fall from her hands and gave her eyes license to roam up and down Erica's body. Erica had closed her eyes, but she opened them now, saw Callie's interest and could not help her response.

"Not even close to even. You are still…so very beautiful, Callie."

Callie smiled. "You are exquisite Erica Hahn." Callie wanted to kiss her, but she was on thin ice, so she didn't. "Let's get under the covers. We're just two adults going to bed."

"In our underwear?" asked Erica. "Callie I'm going to need a t-shirt."

Callie sighed but picked up the shirt Erica had given her earlier.

"Okay, here try this one."

Erica looked at her. "I know we've seen each other naked and we're practically naked now, but can you please turn around. This whole situation is already insane, no need to make it worse."

Callie smiled. "If you insist," she said as she turned.

Callie listened intently for the release of the bra clasp, heard the rustle of clothes on skin and turned quickly.

"Come on," she said grabbing Erica's hand. They separated as soon as they had climbed on the bed, finding their places naturally as they gravitated to the positions they had favored the few times they had slept together, with Erica on the left and Callie on the right. They lay in silence for ten minutes before Callie sighed loudly.

"Still awake? I thought you were tired?" asked Erica.

Callie turned on her side facing Erica. Erica mimicked her.

"I'm finding it hard to sleep next to you and not…" She brought her hand to Erica's face caressing the skin she found and reveling in the feel of it under her fingers. "Touch you," she finished.

"I know the feeling," said Erica. "But we can't Callie. We aren't together anymore and my niece and nephew are right outside that door."

"I know," she breathed. "I know."

She kept up the touching of Erica's face anyway mostly because it felt good and Erica was letting her. She could hear Erica's breathing quicken and she couldn't help herself.

"I want to be with you," she whispered.

"Oh Callie, please don't do this to me," said Erica in a soft incredibly husky voice.

But Erica's hand was somehow on Callie's waist, her fingers beginning a slow stroking of the skin just above Callie's panties. Callie's own hand moved from Erica's face down the arm that was stretched out across the distance between their bodies. She moved in a slow deliberate motion, with pauses for long strokes up and down Erica's arm, starting at the shoulder and ending at Erica's wrist. She felt the wrist make small movements as Erica continued stroking her skins with delicate fingers.

The movement of Callie's hand up and down that arm caused the both of them to shift involuntarily toward each other, closing the distance between them. Their breathing was getting harder.

"Callie we can't do this," said Erica, but she did not stop her motions, did not stop her legs from reaching for Callie's wanting to feel the skin she remembered.

"I want to be with you," repeated Callie tangling her legs with Erica's and practically eliminating the space between them altogether. "So very much," she said as her head followed her legs instincts moving closer to Erica.

"Erica?"

Erica took a few seconds to answer. Callie heard her swallow before the hard breathing resumed.

"Yes?"

"Please kiss me."

"Callie we can't…do…this."

"I want to be with you," Callie choked out. "I need to be with you."

There were tears threatening, but Callie willed them away.

"Callie," she heard in a whisper before Erica ate up the remaining distance and kissed her.

Their bodies ignited at the contact and there was no more pretense as to how much they both wanted this. Callie opened her mouth welcoming Erica's tongue and sucking on it. She wrapped her arms around Erica's head and shoulders wanting to bring her closer. They came up for air taking huge gulps.

"I've missed you," said Erica staring into dark brown eyes that were open and warm and inviting.

Callie was breathing hard and didn't know if she was actually capable of speech. She wanted to let everything show in her eyes, but it wouldn't be enough. Finally the gulps of air brought oxygen to her brain and she could respond.

"I've missed you too, Erica. I've missed you so much," said Callie.

They kissed again and for a long time the only distinguishable noises were the hush of soft whispers and the even sound of heaving breaths.

* * *

Callie woke abruptly feeling very cold. It took her three seconds to take in the room, recognize where she was, note that she was naked, and very, very alone.

"Erica?" she called out listening for bathroom noises. But the bathroom door was open and the room inside was dark.

She got out of bed searching for her clothes, looking around and noting that the clothes she had removed from Erica's body last night were gone. She saw her clothes in a neat pile on the dresser and put them on.

She walked out quietly. It was early and she doubted Eric would be up at this hour. She looked over at the couch and sure enough he was tangled in sheets snoring softly. She made her way to the kitchen looking for a note from Erica, something that would tell her where Erica had gone off too. She looked outside. Erica's car was still there. She noticed the coffee in the pot and put a hand to it. It was warm. She poured herself a cup, picked up her jacket and walked outside, thinking Erica must be out there somewhere. Callie found her sitting in a chair on her patio wrapped in a blanket staring out into her yard. She walked toward her making sure she made noise as she went. Even with the noise Erica did not look at or acknowledge her. She wanted to wrap her arms around her, but instincts were on high alert. Erica had not looked at her, had sent no 'last night was great, come here lover' looks her way. So instead of acting on her desire she approached with caution.

"Hey," she said softly taking a seat nearby.

"Morning," said Erica still staring out into the yard. She took a sip of the coffee in her hands and did not look at Callie.

This was not good. Erica was intentionally not looking at her.

"Erica?"

"Yes?" said Erica her eyes still fixed forward.

"Please look at me."

Erica laughed lightly. "No, I can't do that," she said and took a deep breath.

"Why not?" asked Callie her voice getting shaky.

"Because if I look at you, I'll want to be with you again and I can't do that."

"Why not?" asked Callie putting her cup on the wood floor under her. She had suddenly lost all desire to eat or drink.

"Because we are not good for each other," said Erica.

"I don't believe that," said Callie. "I don't think you do either. You're scared. I get that. I'm the queen of being scared, but running away from this isn't the solution. I tried that once and it so doesn't work. In fact it sucks and makes you miserable. I am miserable without you."

Erica shifted her eyes upward. "You were miserable with me too. That's exactly why we are bad for each other. We're constantly hurting each other and we'll probably continue to do that if we start this again."

"No, I don't believe that. I know I messed up Erica, but I've apologized for that a hundred times. I can't change what happened; we need to put it behind us. I was scared and stupid and reacted badly, but I wasn't miserable with you. I was never miserable with you."

"How about when you told me you couldn't do this anymore? That you didn't like having sex with me. You were miserable then. I was pushing and you were miserable."

"No, I became miserable the moment I saw the look on your face when I said that. I was scared. I wanted to go back to the way things were before I got scared, so I said that, but I wasn't miserable until you walked out of that room and I realized what I had done."

Erica looked at her cup. "I don't make friends easily. I told you that once. I don't risk my heart easily either. I don't like being that vulnerable. I did both with you and both times I got hurt." She laughed that oddly pained laugh again. "Fool me once…"

"This isn't a joke Erica. Last night was not a joke to me."

Erica closed her eyes. "I know that. I do Callie. I know what you want and in an odd way…it sets me on fire knowing you want me, but I'm feeling a little fragile right now and I need to protect me. I can't risk myself with you…in this."

"Ever?"

"I don't know. If you push me, I'll say yes, I can't ever be with you again like that, but I can't deny that being with you…" She looked skyward again. "God, being with you makes me feel so wonderful. It makes me want impossible things, but then I remember… You telling me you didn't like it. Mark Sloan. Watching you walk out of my house when I told you I was gay and my heart breaks and I become emotional girl."

"I'm sorry," said Callie through tears.

"I know you are," said Erica. "I know. And you're right; neither of us can change what happened. We can just decide to put it behind us. I want to do that, I'm trying to put it behind me, but trying this again with you…that's something else entirely and I'm pretty sure I can't do that."

"But last night…"

"Last night was wonderful, so…very…wonderful and beautiful, but it doesn't mean we should get back together."

"I don't understand, if it was so wonderful why can't we just…"

"I love you," said Erica, but still her gaze did not turn Callie's way.

"I love you too," said Callie easily almost getting up and going to her.

"It's not enough."

Callie felt the words like a blow. She put her head in her hands letting the tears fall through her fingers. She couldn't take this. It didn't make sense to her. They had been together last night. It had been perfect and suddenly the memories of last night were too much to take as she sat there with Erica telling her that love wasn't enough. What else was there?

"Can you call me a cab?" she asked.

"I'll take you home, Callie."

"And have you not look at me for another twenty minutes when all I want to do is crawl into your lap?" snapped Callie. "No, I'll just…forget it. I can call a cab. I just need to get my purse."

"Callie, I'd feel better if you let me drive you home."

"Well add that to the list of ways I've hurt you then because you're going to be disappointed."

"Okay, I'll get your purse," said Erica ignoring the jibe.

Callie was starting to shake and that ache that started in her belly, the ache that was a constant reminder of the misery she was living with was returning in full force. She rocked her body in the chair and tried not to think of last night. How they had whispered I love you and I want you over and over again. How they touched each other, the kisses, the gentle caresses, how Erica held her. She cried and swallowed and tried to ignore her head and stomach and wondered where the hell Erica was with her purse.

She heard soft footsteps on the deck. "Thanks just leave it there. I can call a cab and then I'll be out of your hair."

She felt a hand at her back and saw a pair of light orange sweat pants in her line of vision.

"Callie, let me take you home."

She recognized Jess's voice and was surprised and disappointed that it was not Erica. Regardless, she was not going to be able to hang on. "Just give me a minute Jess," she managed to say. She started counting in her head and then out loud, trying to clear her mind enough so she could stand.

She wanted to ask questions. What was Jess doing here? Why was Erica letting her use the car? But all she could do was continue counting out loud and try to push back the thoughts that were causing all the aches. Finally she stopped counting, wiped her face with her hands and got up. She grabbed her purse and started walking.

She got in the car and concentrated on the seatbelt and her breathing. She could tell Jess was nervous as she got in. Jess checked the mirrors and fastened the seat belt before starting the car. It was a welcome distraction to watch her prepare to drive her aunt's car.

"Do you want me to drive?" asked Callie.

"No, no, I got this. I told Aunt Erica I would get you home safe, so that's what I'm gonna do." She took a deep breath and shifted into reverse.

Callie closed her eyes and tried willing her stomach to wait until she got home. They made it out of the driveway and started rolling down the residential street slowly.

"Can I ask what happened? You're looking…"

"Stop the car!" shouted Callie causing Jess to slam on the brakes.

Callie opened the car door and ran for the curb emptying the contents of her stomach. She stood clutching her midsection, her eyes closed, breathing deeply. She felt a wave of relief for a moment and was able to stand up straight, but then the misery returned. She saw that Jess had pulled the car over and was now getting out and coming towards her a phone attached to her ear.

Callie was still in pain, but she was thinking more clearly now.

"Put the phone down. There's nothing for her to do. It's just…a thing."

Jess was looking at her with very worried eyes.

"Never mind," she said before hanging up the phone.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, let's go," she said making her way back to the car and getting in, but Jess did not follow directly.

She remained behind, her gaze a half a block down. Callie stepped out of the car again and saw Erica making her way down the street at a pretty good clip.

"Jess, let's go. If you don't want to drive me, I'm just gonna walk and find a cab."

She waited while Jess deliberated and then seemed to come to a decision. She walked back to the car and got in.

"You're going to need to tell me what's going on," she said fastening her seat belt and putting the car back in drive.

"Go, Jess. Make a right at the corner."

They pulled away and in seconds Jess's phone was ringing.

"You shouldn't have called her," said Callie.

"You were sick. I had to call her."

"I'm not sick. It's just a thing."

The phone kept ringing.

"Can I answer it?"

"Not while you're driving."

"Will you please answer it?"

Callie closed her eyes as she picked up the phone and hit talk.

"Erica, everything's fine. I'm fine. Just go back home." She closed the phone.

"What's going on Callie?" asked Jess.

"You're aunt doesn't want to be with me, that's all and as you can see I'm handling it pretty well."

"What happened? You guys seemed to be doing so great last night."

"Last night….yeah last night we…last night we…"

The bile started churning in her stomach again.

"You were together last night?"

Callie nodded. "I need to get home, okay? I can't talk about this in a moving vehicle."

Jess's phone started to ring again.

"I'm not answering it and neither are you," said Callie as she pressed Ignore and set the phone down.

------------------

Coming in Chapter 7 – Just more heartache.


	7. Chapter 7

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 7)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 7

By the end of the twenty minute trip, Jess and Callie's phones had rung a dozen times between them. They were approaching her building and Callie was starting to feel a sense of relief. She pointed out which building was hers and fully expected Jess to stop, but it sailed right past her head as Jess bypassed it.

"Jess, my building was over there."

"I'm parking," said Jess.

"There's really no need, but if you want you can use my space up ahead."

They parked. Callie was feeling guilty that she had not tried harder to talk Jess out of parking and walking with her, so she made one last ditch effort as they made their way to her apartment.

"You don't have to walk me in," she said.

"You were sick Callie. The least I could do is make sure you're okay, but the next time the phone rings, I'll have to answer it," said Jess as they entered the apartment.

"Fair enough. It's your phone and you no longer have my life in your hands," said Callie trying to lighten the tense mood she had created.

Christina's door was closed, but Callie barely noted it. She grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass and went directly to her room. Jess followed closing the door softly behind her. Callie set the glass and wine on the floor and sat on her bed.

"Thank you for coming up here." She looked at the wine and picked it up laughing weakly. "I have to be at work in a couple of hours, so there's really no time for this."

"I'll put it back," said Jess taking it from her.

Callie watched her walk out and felt an overwhelming need to brush her teeth and shower. She didn't know how long Jess was planning on staying and wouldn't have been surprised if she left after putting back the wine bottle, so she chucked her clothes and stepped into her shower thankful that one of the awesome perks of this apartment was the two bathrooms.

Jess was waiting for her when she stepped out of the bathroom in a t-shirt and sweats.

"No one's called," said Jess.

"Okay, well maybe they got the message," reasoned Callie as she dried her hair, noticing how she was deliberately using the vague 'they' pronoun as if she didn't know who had been trying to call.

"It's weird. I thought they would just keep calling." Apparently Jess was on the same plan.

"Jess you should probably get back. I'll write down the directions."

"What's going on?" asked Jess.

Callie stopped. She sat on the other side of her bed, the one she had deemed Erica's side.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Your aunt doesn't want to be with me, so nothing is going on. We were together last night and I thought…well it doesn't matter now."

"But she loves you and you love her."

"It's not always enough and there's too much…" She looked at Jess. "I love your aunt and I want you to know this is not on her. I made a lot of mistakes when we got together and I guess it was just one mistake too many. I don't blame her. I wish…I wish a lot of things, but sometimes no matter how hard you wish for things to be different, the things you want aren't possible."

"What are you gonna do?"

Callie tried to smile. "Probably cry a lot and then think about how to get through the rest of the day."

"So that's it?"

"For today it is."

"You're not going to try and talk to her?"

"I can't deal with multiple layers of rejection in one day. I have to spread it out some, so maybe I'll try in a few days," she said attempting another lame joke. She got up from her place on Erica's side of the bed and sat next to Jess, placing a friendly arm around her.

"Thanks for driving me. Look this thing with me and your aunt, it's between us and has nothing to do with you or Eric. I have loved meeting you two and if you want and if your aunt is okay with it, I'd like to keep in touch."

"I think you guys will work it out," said Jess smiling at her. "Hey, I have two more games today, well hopefully two more. If we win this afternoon, we make it to the last round. Will you come?"

"I have to work, but if the last game is in the evening, I can come."

"Yeah, it is. I'll get you a ticket, if we win this afternoon."

"Okay, I'll try to make it, but do me a favor, please check with your aunt first?"

"I will, but will you be okay, you know…being around her?"

"Probably not, but we work in the same place, so I'm going to have to learn to be around her. I'll deal."

The sound of the doorbell startled both of them. Callie put her head down and felt her stomach getting ready to let her know just how miserable wallowing in misery could feel. She had a pretty good idea of who was most likely at the door. Jess got up.

"Do you want me to get it?"

"Sure, buzzer's right next to the door."

She suspected Jess knew exactly who was at the door too. Jess walked out leaving her bedroom door slightly ajar. Callie put her towel on its hook and ran a brush through her hair before hearing Erica's voice in hurried conversation with Jess just outside the door a few minutes later. Finally her bedroom door opened and Callie knew she wasn't ready to deal with Erica Hahn in any capacity, as a colleague, friend, lover, in any capacity, she wasn't ready.

"What the hell was that?" she heard Erica's sharp voice. "You get sick and then you just take off and don't answer the phone? I had to take a cab to get here."

"I did answer the phone. I told you I was fine. I am, end of story. You didn't have to come here."

"Callie, I was worried sick."

"There's no need to worry. I'm not sick and more importantly I'm not your concern."

"Of course you're my…Oh I get it, I tell you I can't be with you and so now we pretend we don't care about each other?"

"Erica I'm fine. You can see I'm fine. My stomach was just a little upset and I was in a moving vehicle. You're a doctor, I'm sure you can diagnose that with no problem."

Erica stared at her. "You got half a block before you got sick. No motion sickness I've ever seen works that fast."

Callie sighed. Her stomach was starting to feel sick again, so she changed the subject.

"Jess invited me to her game tonight. Is that okay?"

"Of course, you don't have to ask my permission."

"I just don't want to upset you."

"You're upsetting me now."

Callie rolled her eyes. "Everything I do upsets you. I would apologize, but that gets me nowhere, so what is it you want me to do, Erica?"

"I want you to tell me why you were sick."

Callie laughed. "No you don't."

"Yes, I do," said Erica with such a serious tone, that Callie wanted to laugh at the utter ridiculousness of what she wanted to say and how melodramatic it would sound. Erica was waiting.

"Fine, okay, because I'm in love with you. I am so crazy in love with you that the thought of not being with you turns my stomach. That's why I was sick."

"Callie," said Erica in a soft voice moving towards Callie.

"Please don't do it again, okay? Please…just…don't come near me and make me hope there's a chance just to knock me down because I can't take any more of that today. Just go. I'll learn to deal with this. I just needed to know if there was a chance and there clearly isn't, so that's my new reality."

She sat on her bed calculating the distance to her bathroom because her stomach was not liking this conversation. She saw Erica walk over and stand in the doorway to the bathroom. She was leaning on the frame hands crossed at her chest. She let out a rough laugh.

"It's what we always do. You hurt me; I turn around and hurt you. We just spend our time hurting each other."

"Yeah," said Callie her eyes closed trying to make the room stop spinning.

"Goodbye Callie," she heard and it sounded so soft and sweet and so very final that the misery rolled over her and her stomach rebelled against it quickly. She didn't register Erica walking away, she just knew the moment the doorway to her bathroom was clear and raced into it slamming the door closed behind her. She had nothing left in her stomach and so it was acid she felt coming up in her throat. It burned her esophagus and finally swirled around her toilet in a mess of yellow slime.

Callie flushed and then rinsed her mouth. This needed to stop. If it didn't stop soon she would start dry heaving and that was not something she needed right now. On the bright side her stomach felt okay again. She rinsed her face as she did a mental run down of what she had eaten the last few days. Misery could not be the only thing fueling this. The list was sparse and not encouraging. Aside from ridiculous amounts of coffee, the slice of pizza she had shared with Eric and Jess two nights ago along with handfuls of cheerios yesterday suggested this was due to a very bad and not very nutritious diet or lack of diet. She had not shared in the pizza at the party last night, and she'd only had half a coke to drink, well below her normal fluid intake.

She opened the bathroom door, thinking she needed to drink some water only to find Jess sitting on her bed.

"What are you doing here?" She shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean you weren't welcome or anything, but you probably should have left with Erica."

"She's in the living room practically pulling her hair out," said Jess. "She asked me to see how you were doing."

Callie sat next to her. "I'm fine, just perfectly fine. I was just about to get some water."

Jess stood quickly. "Okay, I'll go get it."

"No!" said Callie reaching to pull Jess down. A wave of dizziness hit her and she closed her eyes against the feeling. "I mean, I can get my own water. You should both get going." She opened her eyes to see complete and utter disbelief in the blue eyes staring back at her.

"You are not okay. I'm going for water."

"Jess seriously," she said forcing herself to stand on unsteady feet. "I can get my own water. Just tell Erica everything's fine." Another dizzy spell slammed into her making her reach out to Jess for support.

Jess grabbed her by the arms and made her sit. "I'll be right back."

She wanted to nod, but was afraid of the movement, so she sat until the spell was over. She needed water. Five minutes passed before she heard anything outside her door. She was beginning to wonder where Jess had gone for the water when the door to her bedroom opened. But Jess did not enter; instead Erica came in with a tall glass of water.

Callie wanted to scream. Her stomach was rolling again.

"Here, drink slowly," Erica commanded as she handed her the glass and then went to Callie's closet pulling out Callie's emergency medical bag. Callie drank reluctantly.

"Where's Jess?" she asked incapable of saying anything else.

"I sent her home. She needs to get to practice and so does Eric."

Erica returned with Callie's stethoscope and some other pieces from Callie's bag.

"I know you don't want me here, Callie, but I need to make sure there isn't something wrong."

Callie snorted. "Everything is wrong."

"I mean physically," said Erica putting the stethoscope to her ears. She listened to Callie's heart and Callie let her. She let Erica listen to her lungs, take her temperature and feel her neck and other parts of her body for swelling or other abnormalities.

"This is very stupid, Erica. I'm a doctor. I know exactly what you're doing and could do it myself. There is nothing physically wrong with me that water can't fix."

"Unless you're already too dehydrated, then the water will take too long to get into your system."

"I'm fine," she said through clenched teeth.

"Okay," said Erica putting a hand on Callie's knee. "I get it. You're fine. You don't need me here, but I care about you Callie. Even if we're not together, I'll still care about you."

"I don't just care about you, Erica. I'm in love with you." She put the now half empty glass of water down. "How do you fix that, Dr. Hahn?"

Erica stood up. "You don't Callie. You just accept that sometimes being in love is not enough."

"Why isn't it enough? What do I have to do to make it enough?" snapped Callie.

Erica didn't say anything for awhile. Callie waited.

"Callie, we didn't do this when we broke up. Let's not do it now."

"Do what? Fight about it? You're right we didn't. You know why? Because I let you decide the terms of everything. You said you didn't want to be with me and after apologizing until my throat hurt, I said okay. You said we couldn't be in each other's lives and I told you it was fine if that's what you wanted. At every step I let you dictate everything."

"Callie, you do not want to do this with me."

"I do Erica; I want to hash this out with you. I want to know how you can say you still care about me and yet continue to punish me because I didn't handle coming out well?"

"You didn't handle it well? You didn't handle it at all! You didn't want to handle it. I was coming out too. I needed my friend, but you weren't handling anything. You didn't want to deal with it which meant you didn't want to deal with me!"

"I was trying to work through it and when I finally did, you tossed me away! Just because I'm not as fast as you doesn't mean I wouldn't have made it to the finish line Erica."

Erica looked up and crossed her hands. "It wasn't about finish lines or who was going fast. You and I were friends when this started and you never once talked to me about what was going on with you. Not once. You were forever going to other people. I handled it as best as I could on my own because my friend disappeared on me, but you didn't want to handle it at all Callie. That's why you went to other people and not me, so they could help you not handle it, help you figure out a way out of this thing you'd gotten yourself into. You regretted what happened almost from the moment you kissed me."

"That is not true, so don't say that! Don't ever say that. I do not regret that. I don't regret any of it even if the result is me drowning in my own stomach acids right now, I don't regret it."

"Maybe not now, but you did, Callie. You might not feel that way now, but you did then. I never regretted kissing you, even when you stopped being my friend."

There were tears now and Callie wondered at what she had started. There was something to be said for not having bitter fights when you broke up.

"I never stopped being your friend," she said trying to get the tears under control.

Erica laughed. "Are you kidding me? Our friendship would have ended with Addison's visit if it wasn't for me. Addison made an innocent comment and you ran from me. Before there was anything even vaguely romantic between us, you ran. You. Ran. From. Me. I had to chase you to make you come back."

Erica was using the doctor voice with her and it was making her sick again. She was using that harsh, condescending tone she saved for the hospital and the idiots they worked with. Erica had never spoken to her in that tone. She sighed as she thought about what Erica had just said.

"Don't kid yourself, Erica. There was always something romantic about us. We may have become friends before everything else, but this is where our relationship was headed from the beginning, even if neither of us recognized it." She paused. "I would have come back to you. Even if you hadn't chased me, I would have come back," she said softly hoping to bring the noise level back down. She didn't want to be yelled at anymore.

"That's a hypothetical and hypotheticals can't be proven."

Callie let out a strange sounding laugh at the comment, so very Erica like.

"I'm not running away now, Erica. You are. I keep putting myself out there and you keep running or chasing me away."

"Can you blame me? I mean I start to let you back in and I walk in on you kissing another woman a month after you told me you weren't gay and still wanted to sleep with men."

"Right, that. I was trying to get over you. I was miserable and someone noticed me anyway and it made me feel good; made me feel like I could get over you. So I tried, but then you and I started kind of talking again and then I didn't want to get over you."

Erica looked confused and Callie sighed knowing she was mixing up the timeline of that little story. Erica had not walked in on Arizona kissing her the first time; she had walked in on Arizona _trying_ to kiss her after her and Erica had started talking again, but she didn't want to dwell on Arizona.

"Why last night? Why did you… I mean, I know why I… I wanted to be with you last night because I want to be with you. Why did you sleep with me if you didn't want to be with me? I've made a lot of mistakes Erica, but I've never been cruel to you."

Erica was leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom again, arms crossed, legs stretched out in front of her.

"You weren't intentionally cruel, no. I spent the night with you because I wanted to be with you too. I miss you. I miss having you in my life. I miss that every single day. I miss talking to you and…I miss touching you."

The tears formed in Callie's eyes again and it was just like the memories of last night and the things they had done and said. It was a painfully stab-you-in-the-heart reminder of something she had let slip through her fingers.

"And you were there, in my bed, wanting me and that felt pretty good too," continued Erica.

"When did you start regretting it? Right after I fell asleep?" asked Callie.

"No Callie. I thought it was a mistake, but I didn't regret it until I saw you getting sick on my street. One night of wonderful isn't worth what you're going through now. I'm sorry I didn't put a stop to it last night. I should have."

Callie was going to be sick again. It was just a matter of time.

"I give up," she said and breathed deeply.

"Give up what?" asked Erica.

"Us," she whispered. "I give up. I've tried everything I can think of and last night was the most honest expression of love I've ever felt and if that's not enough to convince you…I won't be able to do it. So I give up."

She breathed deeply again trying to ward off the nausea because she needed Erica to leave before she made another dash to the bathroom.

"I get that you care about me, but I think you should leave now. Tell Jess I'll try to be there tonight." She had her eyes closed and her head down as she continued breathing deeply.

"You're going to be sick again aren't you?"

"Yeah I am and I need you to leave please. Just…I get that you care, but please just go. I can't have you here anymore being all nice and caring. Not right now. Right now I just need to be alone so I can deal with this."

Erica stood there for a few seconds and Callie could tell she wanted to object to the request. But in the end she got up and left. Callie didn't start making her way to the bathroom until she heard her front door close.

* * *

Coming up in Chapter 8 – The ball's in Erica's court. Chapter 8 will most likely be the last chapter unless it gets too long. Thanks for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 8)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N – Thanks for reading folks. This is not my favorite chapter, but I can't figure out what's wrong with it.

Chapter 8

Callie's shift was short but a busy day in the Pit had made the hours intense which meant easy distractions. A lull in the activity allowed her to chart and think. Her life was kind of returning to normal or at least to the normal of a few weeks ago. Misery was a constant companion. She was at work successfully distracted and in all probability her and Erica would go back to not talking again.

She even had her car back. As of a few hours ago, it was tucked safely back in its spot. Arizona had dropped it off. It was an easy and uncomplicated drop off. She hadn't even seen Arizona. Arizona had left her own car in the hospital parking lot when she had come over Saturday night, so she had simply left Callie's car in its space and walked over to pick up her car sometime this morning. Callie had found her keys in her locker with a sweet note from Arizona telling her to feel free to call her anytime.

She hadn't been sick since this morning and had been dutifully drinking water throughout the day, denying herself the coffee she was craving. She was a drama queen, but being sick was not pleasant and she had no wish to add to her misery by drinking coffee. The dizzy spells were still lingering, but she was able to get through those within a few seconds and she hadn't had one in the last couple of hours. Shortly before her shift ended she saw a tall gangly, long-haired band geek wandering the halls. She recognized him before he saw her.

"Eric?"

He had been scoping out the area, but turned at the sound of her voice, a wide grin on his face as he made his way to her looking a little out of place in his ridiculous band uniform

"Thank God! I thought I might not find you. I've been looking for like 30 minutes. I gotta get back. Me and a buddy kind of stole the school van. Jess won her game so they're in the final game of the conference. She asked me to drop off your ticket. Notice the singular - one ticket."

"Yeah," she said as she took it from him. "That matters less now," she muttered under her breath.

He stepped closer and for a moment she wondered if he'd heard her.

"I don't know what happened, but don't give up, okay? I hate to see people that care so much about each other put up so many obstacles to being together. Is that a girl thing?"

She laughed before the full impact of his words hit her and then cringed as she remembered her words to Erica that morning. _I give up_. She'd had such brave words for Jess on Saturday night about how she would keep trying. That was barely a day ago. Now she couldn't summon the energy to even respond to Eric's comment that she not give up. He was looking at her strangely.

"You okay? You look a little pale."

"Believe me it's an improvement over what I looked like earlier. Thanks Eric. Tell her I'll be there."

"Yeah, I will."

He looked like he wanted to say something more, but she knew he was in a hurry.

"Bye Callie." He stepped up to her and engulfed her in a scratchy hug, whispering some final words. "Nothing is so broken that it can't be fixed."

She hung on to him then as the tears threatened yet again. She took a deep breath that almost sounded like a gasp before squeezing and letting go.

"I'm not so sure that's true anymore," she said with a watery smile as she pulled away.

"Well then I'll just have to be sure for the both of us then."

She gave him a real smile and saw him glance at the clock over her head.

"Go, I know you have things to do."

"See you there, right?"

"Yes," she said.

* * *

Callie finished her shift and changed into jeans and a purple blouse before heading out to her car. She saw a crowd of her peers hanging out outside Joe's. Some were lingering by Mark's car, while others were hanging near the door of the bar. She wondered if there had been another fight.

She saw George notice her and start walking over and sighed in frustration. She didn't want to deal with whatever problem he was having. Before he could make it across the parking lot, however, Christina darted in front of him with Owen in tow and he stopped.

"Can we ride with you? They're all arguing about who's going in what car and I'm so over that ridiculousness," said Christina.

Callie didn't even bother trying to figure out what Christina was talking about. "I have plans," she said.

"Yeah, I know. You're going to the game, right?"

"The game?"

"Hahn's niece's game?" asked Christina jiggling the door handle to the passenger side of Callie's car. "You're going, right?"

"Yeah, but how are you going and are all of them going too?" asked Callie pointing at the crowd that had now dispersed and was moving in separate directions. Apparently decisions had been made.

"Yeah, wheely surgeon told Bailey and Mark overheard and wanted to go because he's a sports nut and so then Lexipedia was going and she told the interns and I think they're taking the bus. McDreamy and Mer decided they would double date with Mark and Lexie and then I decided to go because I wanna see another Hahn in action, so I'm dragging Owen."

"Hi," said Owen. "I like basketball. She's not dragging me."

"I don't know why the others are tagging along except that they're sheep," said Christina.

"Right," said Callie not quite getting everything. She closed her eyes. "Let me get this straight, so a whole crowd of Seattle Grace people are going to show up at the Northwest Counties Regional Girl's Basketball Conference?"

"Can you open the door already? It's a little cold," said Christina.

"Erica's not going to be happy and this will end up being my fault too," she muttered to herself as she unlocked her car and got in.

She reached over and unlocked the passenger side, watching Owen and Christina debate which one of them would be curling up in the small back seat. Christina won that argument, so Owen tried valiantly to fold himself into her back seat. She wondered briefly whether things would be less awkward between her and Erica with more people around. Probably not. Besides she was pretty sure Christina and quite possibly Owen had overheard at least part of her argument with Erica that morning, so that would mean even more awkwardness not less. She sighed loudly. The last thing she need was an additional layer of awkwardness. She was almost to the stadium when she had it confirmed that they had been there that morning.

"You okay?' asked Christina.

She looked at her. "Not really, but there is nothing I can do about it," she said.

"You'll be okay. You're cage-fighter Callie. You're tougher than this."

They said nothing further on the topic.

_________________

The Seattle Grace people were causing all sorts of chaos that Callie wanted no part of. She let Christina and Owen wander over to where they were getting out of cars and clogging up the parking lot looking around like lost sheep in need of a Border Collie. She walked straight to the stadium clutching her ticket and ignoring the lurching her stomach was doing. She had a bottle of water in her hand and took a sip regretting the bagel she had eaten. She wanted to be here for Jess and Eric, but it was going to be hard.

She had no idea how hard until she walked in and saw Erica sitting next to Joyce Healy. She had walked in and looked automatically for Jess's team. They were on the court in warm-up jackets shooting baskets and running through drills. She had looked over at the player's bench that held the coaches and then let her gaze shift upwards just behind them. There she was. She was wearing her glasses again and another orange Triton Park t-shirt under her jacket. Callie swallowed.

Callie put her head down momentarily, told herself she was tougher than this, looked up and started walking. She let her gaze travel to where Erica was again and felt like her head had just been slammed into a brick wall. Joyce was talking animatedly, smiling and using her hands for effect, her hand ever so casually coming to rest on Erica's arm and staying there.

Callie thought about going back and joining the Seattle Grace people. She closed her eyes wanting to concentrate and felt the dizziness return.

_Fuck!_

She tried to remember if there was a wall behind her, but couldn't recall so she reached for it anyway, thankful when she felt cold brick against her palm. She felt the disorientation begin to recede and let out a breath. She opened her eyes and couldn't help looking towards Erica again, but Erica was gone. There was only Joyce looking back at her. She leaned against the wall feeling the now familiar ache of her stomach rebelling. She stood still, breathed in and out and started praying that she not get sick, when she felt hands on her shoulders.

"Callie?"

_Really? Really, God? This is who you send me?_

"I'm okay, Erica I'm just resting and debating whether it's a good idea for me to sit over there with you and your new friend."

Erica hesitated for a brief moment, her eyes never leaving Callie.

"Come on," she said grabbing her by the hand, intertwining their fingers and leading Callie slowly to their seats.

Callie could do nothing but follow. Her stomach had calmed somewhat at Erica's touch and the hand holding hers was warm and solid, so she had no complaints. Even if it meant nothing, it still felt good and she let herself float in the fantasy for the few minutes it took to reach their seats. Callie acknowledged Joyce with a small smile before sitting, her fingers still wrapped up in Erica's hands. She looked up at Erica who was standing over her giving her worried looks. Erica disentangled her hand from Callie's and felt Callie's forehead for fever. Callie felt disappointment at the knowledge that this was all part of I-still-care-about-you Erica and not I-miss-touching-you Erica. Her heart had not yet caught up with her mind.

Erica placed both hands on the armrests on either side of Callie's seat and bent down.

"Will you tell me if you start to feel sick again? Please?"

Callie looked way. "Yeah, sure."

"Callie? Look at me."

Callie didn't think she could. She knew Joyce was watching them, watching her and she cursed her stupidity in allowing herself to be dragged up here. She had no desire to let Joyce watch her break down. It would have been better to sit with the Seattle Grace people. She blinked and felt wetness. She made a move to get up, but Erica was still hovering over her, effectively trapping her where she was.

She looked at her, watery eyes and all. "What Erica? What else do you want?"

"This," said Erica as she leaned in and captured Callie's lips.

Callie registered shock, elation, excitement, desire, love and a host of other feelings too intense and complicated to categorize as Erica's mouth moved against hers in soft slow motions. Erica captured her lips, grazed them with a velvety soft tongue, opened and closed her mouth, sucked and nibbled and then pulled back enough to take in a breath and whisper Callie's name. Callie thought she would melt where she sat. They were breathing hard heads pressed lightly against each other, but doubts resurfaced for Callie and her stomach quivered with nervousness.

"Erica?"

"We seem to be attracting attention," said Erica smiling at her.

"Erica?" she tried again.

Erica took the seat next to Callie.

"What?"

"I'm feeling sick again and I think it's because I don't know what just happened."

In the background she heard a crowd of obnoxious people approaching. She was breathing unevenly and frowning with her eyes closed at the distraction. She felt Erica's lips on hers again, more intensely this time. They rubbed against her and Callie responded, opening her mouth and searching out Erica's tongue. She felt Erica's hand on her face caressing ever so lightly and covered it with her own wanting to keep it there. They pulled back reluctantly, but Erica's hand remained on Callie's face.

"All day I've been worried sick about you. Really sick as in my stomach hurt when I thought about you. Seeing you looking as miserable as I've been feeling all day made me realize, that being with you seems to cure whatever I have, so I want to be with you. If you'll still have me, I would like to try this again with you."

Callie laughed feeling the misery leave her body as a physical force at the words. "Yes," she said. "God yes."

It was Callie who initiated the kiss this time, but she had barely gotten started when the obnoxious people became a problem. They were loud and clumsy and they were causing so much commotion in the area directly above Callie and Erica, that Callie was forced to stop. She looked up to see Mark smiling down at her.

"Don't stop on our account. Please continue."

"No, you should totally stop, you're distracting the players, so cut it out," said Christina almost smiling. She kept her focus on Callie and never once let her eyes meet those of her boss.

"Callie, what is half the hospital doing at my niece's basketball game?" asked Erica with a serious look.

"They're sheep?" answered Callie feeling just a little sheepish herself. After all it was her fault they were here.

Erica gave her an exasperated look before kissing her again and then settling into her seat with Callie's hand attached to hers.

* * *

Coming next – the final chapter (really) – should be short. Has some kinks I'm trying to work out or I may just decide that this chapter would make a good enough ending. Have not decided yet.


	9. Chapter 9

**TITLE:** Lovesick (Chapter 9 – Conclusion)  
**AUTHOR: rcruz**

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 9**

"I promise I won't always be this clingy," said Callie.

"That's somewhat disappointing," answered Erica squeezing Callie tightly to her.

"You won't feel that way when I sneak into your surgeries if they run too long just to place my head on your shoulder."

Erica chuckled. "That could be nice. OR rooms are cold."

They were on the dance floor swaying to one of the many slow songs that seemed to be playing consistently tonight. Callie's head was resting on Erica's shoulder, her arms wrapped completely around her. She was a little sleepy and in all honesty felt a little weak. She had not shared that with Erica. She didn't want to miss tonight, didn't want Erica making her rest or go home.

The party tonight was much bigger and had spilled out into the backyard, where a fire had been lit. The entire team and band had been over earlier along with the crew from Seattle Grace. Callie had enjoyed the game, reveled in Jess's excitement at actually winning, but what she had enjoyed most was sitting next to Erica for the entire game their hands clasped tightly, knowing Erica wanted her there and then kissing Erica again when it was all over.

It was late and the team and the band had already been ushered back on their bus by Joyce and the girl's basketball coach, a tiny woman who was passionate about the game, but didn't seem to like people. According to Joyce, she had only come to the party after much begging and pleading. Now it was just the Seattle Grace people and Jess, Kate, Eric and Carmen. They had promised Joyce they would give Carmen and Kate a ride back to the hotel at the end of the party, but Callie was wondering about who would do that now. She had no plans to do it herself and the other people at the party had started drinking the moment the teens left. Owen seemed to be the only one still sober. Maybe she would send Owen to take them back to the hotel.

The fire outside had been Eric's idea. He had sold Erica on it by pointing out that a fire would entice people outside. It had kind of worked. It had definitely cleared out Erica's house, but it was mostly the teenagers that had gravitated to the dark backyard and the warm campfire. Jess hadn't thought of it, but had eagerly endorsed the idea and Callie suppressed the urge to laugh at the both of them as they stood there trying to sell the idea to Erica earlier.

"Seriously?" she had questioned when they had first brought the idea to Erica. Callie had been standing behind her, hands attached to Erica's waist, her chin resting lightly on her shoulder.

Erica had turned to look at her perplexed. "What? Not a good idea?"

"Hormone crazed teenagers, dark yards, chilly nights, campfires? Doesn't that sound just a little like a formula for disaster?"

"Aw, come on Callie," whined Eric giving her a pleading look.

"Okay, I won't say anything. It will definitely get people out of the house," she said to Erica.

At that point Erica had been more crazed by the sheer number of people in her house to worry too much about over active hormones so she had given them the okay. It had worked out.

That's probably where the four remaining teens were now. They had checked on them earlier and Callie had looked longingly at them sitting around the campfire. Kate and Jess were snuggled up together in blankets. Carmen was in a chair, a blanket draped over her shoulders. The blanket was big enough that it reached Eric's shoulders and was partially covering his arms as he sat on the ground in between Carmen's legs strumming a guitar. Callie wished for a moment that Erica would stop moving for a few minutes and just sit with her right there, snuggled up in blankets. They hadn't, but the dancing was okay too and as long as Erica allowed Callie to attach herself to her for the night, pretty much anything they did was okay with her.

She had not left Erica's side all night which she knew was clingy and annoying, but she couldn't seem to help it. This desire to have Erica within touching distance at all times had caused a small moment of panic to swell inside her directly after the game. The realization that she had driven her own car and would be separated from Erica on the drive over had not settled well with her. Thankfully Owen had volunteered to drive her car back to the house in the midst of Mark's talk of celebrations and she had readily handed him the keys, much to Erica's surprise. Erica had been completely bulldozed into having the party. Emotions had been high after the game and the celebration talk had sailed right past Erica who looked like she was trying to keep everything in check: Callie, her nephew and niece, the game, the victory, the Seattle Grace people. It seemed easiest to take the path of less resistance, let the party talk swirl around her and just go with the flow, she had told Callie on the way back to the house.

Callie didn't know how Mark had managed it, but food and drinks appeared at Erica's house shortly after people began arriving, furniture was moved, music was playing all without much effort from either her or Erica, which was very good since she spent the night firmly attached to Erica. It would have been hard to organize for a party while trying to remain attached at the hip. She was literally clinging to Erica always needing to be in physical contact and found herself reluctant to even let Erica go to the bathroom on her own.

She knew it was temporary, this obsessive need to remain in close physical contact but since Erica didn't seem to mind, she let herself indulge in the desire and just enjoyed it. She sighed contentedly and held Erica tighter as they continued to dance.

"This feels nice," she said.

"Yes, it does. It would feel nicer if I could get these people out of my house," said Erica.

Callie smiled into her shoulder. "We could just start making out. Think they'd get the hint?"

"I think it would give them ideas," said Erica.

The lazy song that had been playing ended and another one began immediately. Meredith and Derek stayed on the dance floor, but Erica led Callie off. Just as she'd done all night, Callie clung to her like Erica was a balloon ready to soar into the air the moment Callie let go. She was following Erica's lead but paying no attention to their destination, so she was surprised to find herself in Erica's bedroom. Erica activated the switch on the lamp near her bed, bathing them in soft light before turning to face Callie. She held Callie's face in her hands.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Better than you can possibly imagine," answered Callie tucking her hands in Erica's back pockets and pulling her closer.

Erica smiled. "You certainly seem to be on some kind of high, but I mean, how's your stomach? Any nausea? Dizziness?"

Callie shook her head. "None of the above. I feel great."

"Good because I've been dying to kiss you again, but I won't if you're still not feeling well."

"Nope feeling great," said Callie meeting Erica half way.

This kiss was so different from their other kisses. It was full of promises they had not yet spoken. It was as soft and sensual as any kiss they had shared, but there was a familiarity behind this kiss that somehow fueled the intensity differently than the passionate kisses they shared during their brief relationship the first time around. For the first time Callie felt like she not only knew this mouth and tongue, but that she would know this feeling forever. The kiss became more heated, quickly moving from the soft and sensual to fire and passion and lust and desire all concentrated in two mouths brushing sucking and nibbling in unison. Erica's hands traveled to Callie's back side pulling her closer, their breathing becoming fast and more erratic.

She didn't know where the dizzy spell came from, whether it was the intensity of the kisses or leftover remnants of her mysterious illness, but suddenly the room was spinning and Callie had to pull back. She tried to do it gracefully and without alarming Erica, but the fact that she desperately wanted to sit tipped off Erica that something was not right. Callie was breathing hard, still clinging to her even as she tried to make her way to the bed to sit. She finally made it or was steered there by a strong grip on her arm, she wasn't sure which.

"You okay?" asked Erica kneeling in front of her, hands rubbing up and down Callie's thighs.

The dizzy spelled passed and Callie could breathe again. Thankfully her stomach was showing no signs of rebellion. She opened her eyes and ran her hands through Erica's hair.

"Yeah, just got a little dizzy, but everything is okay."

"I'm finding that hard to believe. How's the stomach?"

"That is fine, thank God. Just a little left over dizziness."

"You've been drinking water, right?" asked Erica as her hands migrated to Callie's waist holding her there, her thumb moving back and forth in soft precise motions.

"Yes Dr. Hahn."

"Callie what have you eaten today?"

"Erica, I'm fine. I feel good right now. I don't think I've ever felt as good as I feel right now."

Erica smiled at her. "I feel really good right now too, but I'd feel better if my girlfriend weren't getting dizzy."

Callie smiled. "Oh yeah, no dizziness could rival how good it felt to hear you say that," she said as she reengaged in the kissing. She felt that same sense of familiarity she had felt earlier and smiled into the kiss before pulling back and humming in contentment.

"I love you, Callie, but this sickness is driving me nuts. What did you eat today?" asked Erica.

Callie sighed. "I love you too."

She started to lie down, pulling Erica on the bed with her. Erica hesitated for only a second glancing nervously at the door, before relenting and lying down with Callie's head on her shoulder.

"I ate a bagel today and I drank water all day long."

Callie closed her eyes as she felt Erica's gentle hands stroking her hair.

"All you had to eat was a bagel?"

"Didn't want to be sick again. I'm feeling a little weak, but I promise I'll eat something tomorrow."

"Maybe you should eat something now," suggested Erica, but Callie was feeling too tired to get up.

"Tomorrow, I promise. Can we just lie here for a little while?"

"Okay"

Callie sighed knowing it was dangerous to lie here with Erica like this. It was too tempting to close her eyes and just melt into the warmth of the body under her, relax her body and let the tiredness take over. But she didn't want to sleep yet.

"Erica?"

"Hmm"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

Callie lifted her head resting it on her hand and looked at her. "What happened? I mean this morning you were convinced that whatever we had wasn't enough and tonight you just up and kiss me. Not that I'm complaining, but I was just wondering what changed your mind?"

"You"

"I don't understand," said Callie.

Erica smiled. "It was you. Being crazy worried about you." She sighed. "Actually it was everything. I compartmentalize. It's how I'm wired and after we broke up I put everything about you in these little boxes. It was the only way I was able to go to work everyday and not talk to you. I had to keep everything in their place, but you kept messing with my boxes."

"You kept me in a box?" asked Callie frowning.

"No, I kept parts of you in one box and parts of you in other boxes. It was the only way I could function around you. It was the only way I would be able to even say hi to you. I had to keep Callie the ortho resident in one box and the Callie that used to be my friend in another and that way I could deal. But then you were here with my niece and nephew and touching me the way I had wanted you to touch me before and leaning into me and so clearly not interested in someone who was interested in you and I couldn't keep the boxes straight. Last night was the equivalent of someone coming in and knocking down all my boxes. I was out on my patio this morning trying desperately to get the boxes in order. I thought it was working. Then I got a frantic call from Jess that you were sick and all the boxes got messed up again and they stayed messed up."

Callie laid her head on Erica's chest and molded her body to her.

"I couldn't get the boxes back in order because I was worried about you and no matter how many times I told myself that it was just because I cared about you, I couldn't do what I usually do. I couldn't get you back in those boxes, because you were sick and I was worried and it was making me sick. So I decided that it was enough to know that you loved me and wanted me and that I didn't need the guarantees I thought I did."

"It's guaranteed. I promise, although I'm not sure I get the box thing," said Callie.

Erica smiled and kissed her head. "Probably not. You're not wired like I am. You do not compartmentalize. I think we decide what's enough and what isn't enough and after I saw you this morning I couldn't deny us this, not when the denying was making us both so miserable. I'm not sure of everything yet, but…"

"Be sure of us Erica," said Callie clutching Erica more tightly to her.

"I'm sure I want you and that you want me and that we want to make it work and so I'll have to trust in that because it was driving me nuts not being able to be near you today when you were sick."

The hand stroking her hair had established a rhythm that was calming and was making it difficult for Callie to keep her eyes opened. She was trying to stay with Erica, trying to stay awake, but the warmth and the touch and just the sound of Erica's voice worked against her, lulling her into a comfortable place that it was hard to pull out of. She concentrated hard.

"I'm glad. Even if I don't understand the box thing, I'm so very happy you decided to give me another chance, that whatever we had between us was enough."

Erica kissed her head again. "I don't know if we can quantify what enough would mean, but when you want to pull your hair out because someone you care about has a tummy ache, that's probably more than enough."

"It's enough, Erica. I believe that."

"So do I," said Erica softly.

It was the last thing Callie remembered about that night.

* * *

When she woke the next morning it was to the wonderful smell of bacon frying. She let the smells invade her senses and thought she noted the sweet smell of butter sizzling on a grill as well, a smell she always associated with pancakes. Much to her surprise she found that for the first time in a few days, hell it might even be weeks, she was hungry. She was still in the purple blouse she had donned yesterday after work, but her pants were gone. She tried not to think too much about the fact that she didn't remember taking them off. She looked around. Erica was nowhere to be seen, but she heard hushed voices on the other side of the door and decided it was time to get up.

She put on her pants slowly and without thought removed her purple blouse and started rummaging through Erica's dresser looking for a shirt. She found an old John Hopkins t-shirt and pulled it over her head. After a short trip to the bathroom, she ordered her hair and walked out of the room.

Eric was at the stove spatula in hand, frowning. Erica was sitting at her kitchen counter her back to Callie with Jess kitty corner from her. Eric noticed her first.

"Hey sleepy head," said Eric giving her a bright smile.

"Who's cooking?" asked Callie as she made her way somewhat tentatively to Erica who turned immediately at the sound of Callie's voice.

Callie walked toward her, intent on landing directly in Erica's arms. She felt the erratic pounding of her heart and knew she was flashing back to yesterday morning and the rejection she had faced. Irrationally, somewhere inside her very insecure self, she feared a repeat of the events that had transpired the last time she had woken up in this house. All evidence to the contrary, she was a little scared, so she tried to concentrate on the fact that Erica was looking at her, that she was opening her arms as Callie approached and that the mask she had been seeing on Erica for a month seemed to be gone. She smiled and Erica returned the smile and then she was in her arms and her heart slowed and she let out a long breath.

"You okay?" asked Erica rubbing her back as she embraced her.

"God, yes," said Callie.

She heard snickers that she thought had a male timbre to them and rolled her eyes. She probably looked pretty silly to the two teenagers in the room, but they had no idea the hell she had been through. She pulled back slightly hoping for a kiss and was rewarded as Erica's lips touched hers without doubt or hesitation or even mild hints of nervousness.

"Get a room," she heard Jess say and felt Erica smile through the kiss. Their lips parted after a few more seconds, but Callie did not remove herself from Erica's embrace, content to just be there for as long as Erica was willing to hold her.

"We're impressionable," said Eric. "So stop with the making out. We can't be seeing that all out on display."

"Look who's talking. I think all you did last night was kiss and come up for air," snickered Jess.

"At least my hands weren't wandering. I quote the text I received this morning, 'how many hands does your sister actually have?'" he responded.

"Alright, this is getting uncomfortable for the Aunt, so let's just cool it," said Erica.

Jess scowled at him and then turned to Callie. "Never date your brother's best friend."

"Not going to be a problem," said Callie laughing. Jess continued flipping through the magazine in front of her. Eric returned his attention to the stove, the frown reappearing on his face.

"My mom stirs bacon. How do you stir bacon?"

"Why don't you use your hands," said Jess.

Callie smiled again. They were fun, but a part of her really just wanted to be alone with Erica. She felt the arms around her squeeze.

"Do you want some toast or something?" asked Erica kissing the top of Callie's head lightly.

Callie shook her head and looked over at Eric at the stove. She was tempted to go help him, but she was apparently still not over the clinginess because all she wanted to do was turn around in Erica's arms and stay there and so she did just that. Erica seemed to be okay with it, so Callie just leaned back into her chest, resting her head on Erica's shoulder, her legs stretched out in front of her. Erica let her get settled, her hands holding her in place at the waist.

"This can't be comfortable for you Callie," said Erica.

"You'd be surprised at just how comfortable this is," said Callie. "What happened yesterday? I remember lying down with you and then nothing."

"Really? That memorable?" said Jess.

"Cut it out," responded Erica with a hint of seriousness.

"I hope you like your bacon crispy," said Eric frowning at the stove once again.

Callie frowned herself. "Erica, you don't eat bacon. Is this just for their benefit because we could have probably taken them out to eat?"

"No," said Erica winding long arms around Callie's waist as she surrounded her. "This incredibly bad for you breakfast is for you. You need lots and lots of energy to replenish much depleted resources. I would prefer you get it from Omega 3's, but fish is not your usual breakfast food item. Bacon has fat which is energy and at least a little protein. You haven't been eating and I don't like my girlfriend starving herself, so the bacon and pancakes are for your benefit."

Callie smile. She would never tire of hearing Erica say the word 'girlfriend'.

"Well I'm starving so your timing is perfect."

"Hey Callie, I forgot I had to give you a message," said Jess barely looking up from her magazine.

"Yeah?"

"The tall scary looking dude with your roommate, the one who drove Kate and Carmen back to the hotel, says sorry about the scratch."

"What?" she asked alarmed.

Eric and Jess both burst into laughter and Callie was genuinely conflicted. She wanted to run outside and check on her little car, but the space Erica had created for her was soft and warm, and she was reluctant to leave it.

"They're kidding. I took Kate and Carmen back to the hotel. No one touched your car."

Callie relaxed in the arms holding her once more not even taking the time to glare at the teens.

* * *

The school bus taking Eric and Jess back home arrived shortly after they had shared breakfast. Their goodbyes were hurried and surprisingly unsentimental. They shared long hugs and made promises of seeing each other soon, but considering the emotional journey she had been on all weekend, Callie found herself thinking the goodbye was lacking something.

The fact that both she and Erica had to rush off to the hospital shortly after did nothing to help her shake the feeling that her world was not yet right. But on the bright side, she'd had no more dizzy spells and her stomach was feeling normal, so normal in fact that coffee went down easily and despite the filling breakfast she'd had that morning, she found herself hungry right around lunchtime.

She was thinking about lunch and finding Erica for lunch as she filled out a chart near the nurse's station when she felt a familiar tingliness up and down her spine. It was odd and out of place, since she only felt that when she was looking at Erica, so she looked up and searched the area. There she was standing in front of one of the many computers that helped them manage patient care. Her fingers were hovering expectantly over the keyboard, but her gaze was on Callie. She smiled. Callie returned the smile and felt a wave of sunshine, good and warm, settle over her. It moved through her body, invading her pores, mixing with her blood and finding its way to that place that held her hopes and dreams, her insecurities and fears and doubts. It entered her heart establishing itself firmly and permanently in that place, pulsating and alive. She understood then that there was no need for big pronouncements or lengthy speeches about how they would love each other forever and never hurt each other again. That was neither honest nor realistic. The essence that was them could not be expressed in those simple terms. No, the essence of them was in this feeling, this thing that had settled permanently in her heart and in that look that Erica was giving her that said she felt it too.

The End

* * *

That's it folks. Now I have to get back to grading papers and exams, actually getting more than 4 hours of sleep a night, and finding the time to work on the other fic I'm supposed to be working on. Thanks for reading and a very special big shout-out and thank you to Mob who was a tremendous help in shaping this chapter. You should all thank her for pulling me out of the muck I got stuck in for a bit. (She is also responsible for the "sorry about the scratch" line.) Thanks again. As always, comments and suggestions are welcome.


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